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Question About Elderly Parent
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 628703" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>To be perfectly blunt and honest, it would likely be FAR more dangerous to her health for her to try to detox than to continue to drink as she does. From what you have said, her body is almost certainly dependent on alcohol and stopping her alcohol consumption would be so difficult and traumatic that few doctors who really knew the scope of the problem would suggest she detox unless she was in a hospital and in phenomenal health for her age.</p><p></p><p>I have an aunt who is an alcoholic and her family has been told that to try to detox would be more likely to kill her than to help her. She is much older than my mom, and we simply don't contact her in the afternoon if it can be helped. She just isnt lucid after about lunchtime.</p><p></p><p>Few people realize exactly how dangerous it is to stop drinking if you are physically dependent on the alcohol. It truly is one of the most dangerous addictions to stop, and esp for the elderly it DEMANDS a doctor's supervision 24/7 because of the risks of seizure, heart problems, etc.....</p><p></p><p>I strongly suggest that rather than try to change her, you go to AlAnon for some help in coping with the issue. It isn't about changing her, but about changing your reactions to her. While of course you love her and care for her, you still have every right to establish boundaries for sane interaction wtih her. You probably won't get that if you approach her about her drinking, but you can learn to deal with your feelings about her drinking and about her behavior while she is under the influence. </p><p></p><p>The only way I would EVER bring this up to her is if she drives. Her car would never again function and every car she had would cease to function until I could get her license revoked. She isn't just endangering herself if she drives, and that risk cannot be allowed, Know what I mean?? </p><p></p><p>I am sorry you have to deal with this. It is NOT fun by any means. If you have to keep her at arms length because she is nasty when she drinks, then by all means you should do that. It does NOT mean you do not love her, it means you also love yourself. And you SHOULD love yourself and protect yourself, you are totally worth it.</p><p></p><p>You need to protect your minor children from her drinking behavior, but other than that it is NOT your job to see that she has a good relationship wtih her other kids or grandkids. Those are her and their jobs, not yours.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 628703, member: 1233"] To be perfectly blunt and honest, it would likely be FAR more dangerous to her health for her to try to detox than to continue to drink as she does. From what you have said, her body is almost certainly dependent on alcohol and stopping her alcohol consumption would be so difficult and traumatic that few doctors who really knew the scope of the problem would suggest she detox unless she was in a hospital and in phenomenal health for her age. I have an aunt who is an alcoholic and her family has been told that to try to detox would be more likely to kill her than to help her. She is much older than my mom, and we simply don't contact her in the afternoon if it can be helped. She just isnt lucid after about lunchtime. Few people realize exactly how dangerous it is to stop drinking if you are physically dependent on the alcohol. It truly is one of the most dangerous addictions to stop, and esp for the elderly it DEMANDS a doctor's supervision 24/7 because of the risks of seizure, heart problems, etc..... I strongly suggest that rather than try to change her, you go to AlAnon for some help in coping with the issue. It isn't about changing her, but about changing your reactions to her. While of course you love her and care for her, you still have every right to establish boundaries for sane interaction wtih her. You probably won't get that if you approach her about her drinking, but you can learn to deal with your feelings about her drinking and about her behavior while she is under the influence. The only way I would EVER bring this up to her is if she drives. Her car would never again function and every car she had would cease to function until I could get her license revoked. She isn't just endangering herself if she drives, and that risk cannot be allowed, Know what I mean?? I am sorry you have to deal with this. It is NOT fun by any means. If you have to keep her at arms length because she is nasty when she drinks, then by all means you should do that. It does NOT mean you do not love her, it means you also love yourself. And you SHOULD love yourself and protect yourself, you are totally worth it. You need to protect your minor children from her drinking behavior, but other than that it is NOT your job to see that she has a good relationship wtih her other kids or grandkids. Those are her and their jobs, not yours. [/QUOTE]
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