Question for Going North

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Obviously you don't need to answer and I apologize if you feel this crosses a boundary.

Here it goes: If you never had kids, how did you end up on this forum? by the way I am so glad you DID come!! You add so much!
 
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GoingNorth

Crazy Cat Lady
I have a good friend, overseas now, who had a teen daughter with severe ODD.

It was the first time I had ever seen behavior like that, and my friend sort of waved the behavior off with a flippant "Oh, ignore her. She's got Oppositional Defiant Disorder", while I stood there with my mouth hanging open. That sent me to an internet search (a loooong time ago), which directed me to this board. Somehow, my issues came up. Somehow, I was welcomed. (A short while before Fran took over, IIRC), and I've been here ever since, possibly due to the sort of "colorful" lifestyle I've lived.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Ah, thank you!!!

Wow you were here longer than me....lol.

I am glad you came. On a personal note, it is nice to chat with someone who knows first hand both where I grew up and where I live now and who loves her pets as much as I love mine.

The board has changed sooooo much. It used to be primarily little kids who brought us here. Well, thanks again for sharing.
 
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Dory

Member
Hi ,wonderful people,
I actually came upon this site trying to find an easy going forum for me.
I am trying but it is very difficult for me to get around.
Such a beautiful sight for people to come across and connect.
Thankyou
 

susiestar

Roll With It
I am glad you are here GN, because in many ways you opened my eyes and helped me see that my son and father were not the only 2 in the family with Aspergers. Or whatever you want to call it now. You helped me understand that all the confusion I felt as a kid were just my own autism popping up in a time when it was diagnosed unless you were profoundly impacted by it. At least you were not in my neighborhood!
 

GoingNorth

Crazy Cat Lady
Thank you Old-hand and Copabanana. I think I would've been much like my mother. Fine with her kids and grandkids (better with her grands), but other peoples' kids gave her hives.

husband, however, was a kid magnet. Friends and neighbors used to hand him fussing babies and toddlers and he could jolly them into giggles or soothe them to sleep within minutes.

Me? I just tend to treat them like little people, with an awareness of their developmental level, foibles and quirks, and try to work with what's going on in their heads. My usual gig is to find something to fascinate them with, which even works with infants. Those little brains are like sponges!
 

Pink Elephant

Well-Known Member
Thank you Old-hand and Copabanana. I think I would've been much like my mother. Fine with her kids and grandkids (better with her grands), but other peoples' kids gave her hives.

husband, however, was a kid magnet. Friends and neighbors used to hand him fussing babies and toddlers and he could jolly them into giggles or soothe them to sleep within minutes.

Me? I just tend to treat them like little people, with an awareness of their developmental level, foibles and quirks, and try to work with what's going on in their heads. My usual gig is to find something to fascinate them with, which even works with infants. Those little brains are like sponges!
Some fathers/men are great with kids. I happened to have found one that stayed well clear of all things baby, until the kids got older. When he held one of the kids (which was rare and only when directed by me), you could see the anguish in him. Just wasn't for husband.

Heck, I couldn't even get husband to bring me in an emergency baby washcloth when I had a kid hoisted by their ankles at change-time. LOL!
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
I don't think men can get away with that today!!

My first husband would do diapers, changing, feeding etc. But after the kids get older, he grew bored. Didn't even go to their sports. He hated sport's. His lack of interest in the kids made me and his kids not happy with him.

This husband I am with now is Father of the Year and is sought out for activities even by adult daughter. He helped really make our family a lot of fun. He has always been extremely engaged in every facet of their lives. His kids adore him. I do too!
 

Pink Elephant

Well-Known Member
I don't think men can get away with that today!!

My first husband would do diapers, changing, feeding etc. But after the kids get older, he grew bored. Didn't even go to their sports. He hated sport's. His lack of interest in the kids made me and his kids not happy with him.

This husband I am with now is Father of the Year and is sought out for activities even by adult daughter. He helped really make our family a lot of fun. He has always been extremely engaged in every facet of their lives.
When the kids got older and more independent, husband climbed out of his shell. He took them everywhere, attended sports games, school functions, and all sorts of other things.

Just wish he would have been on the same page when it came to pitching in when the kids were little. Diapers, bottles, discipline/punishment... that all fell on me, and being the stay-at-home that I was, I was OK with it, but... always nice to have extra help when you're raising little ones.
 
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