question re. another difficult child

[klmno]

My difficult child started telling me what happened at school today- he says there is a kid in a few of his classes (7th grade) who has a teacher that goes to most of his classes with him and that this boy has a lot of "issues" and problems. Well, I complimented my difficult child for the way he was describing this without being biased against someone who has more issues or different issues than he does. Anyway, he proceeds to tell me that this boy really "flips out" when anyone goes up to him and says "George of the jungle" but that teachers don't know this. So, a boy I know a little about who does seem to be somewhat of an instigator, or at least more focused on causing problems than getting along, apparently got into the other difficult child's face and said the "bad" statement. The other difficult child then lost it and took several bites out of the instigator's arm. My son says the teachers aren't aware that this statement really makes the difficult child crazy so the instigator got in a little trouble, but barely any because they are looking at him as the victim.

Then, my son tells me that this difficult child really does wierd things, like eating glue and keeping his hands down his pants a lot and taking objects and putting them between his legs while his hands are down his pants, quite frequently.

This is a mainstream school. I feel for this difficult child and tend to think the instigator should be in a little more trouble. However, I also am a little concerned about what all he's trying to eat that could harm him and I'm concerned about the sexual concentrations of this boy- there are some pretty innocent 6th grade girls there, you know. Now, that might be over-reacting based on what my son told me, - I asked where was this "special teacher" during all this and my son said she doesn't really see it- hands are under the table, she's not in PE class with him, etc.

Should I mention these things to anyone at the school? Would a 1-on-1 aide not be aware of these things? Am I over-reacting?

EDITED: on the other hand- maybe I should call the school and ask if there's any truth at all in this story or was it competely fabricated by my imaginative difficult child ?? HHMMMM!!!

 

[tiredmommy]

This is what I would do, because I usually trust my instincts. I would call the director of Special Education or school nurse, whomever you are more comfortable with, and ask to anonymously report what your son has told you. make sure to preface it with a statement to the effect that you understand they cannot discuss this student with you, but you wish to report this out of concern for the student's well-being. I commend you for being so concerned for another's child. It shows just how compassionate you are.

 

[Anna1345]

I totally agree with TM. I would report it if for nothing else but the concern of the other children.

 

[BusynMember]

I'm really surprised he's mainstreamed if the aide can't stop him from being so inappropriate. Poor boy. I really feel for him. Doesn't his aide sit near him? He doesn't sound like he should be left alone for a minute.
Even a Special Education class may not be appropriate for him...I wouldn't want my son to see him putting his hands in his pants, etc. Poor kid.

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

I'm thinking that the school may not be aware of the extent of the child's problems. I would follow TM's advice.

I commend you, and I really commend your son! Big ups to both of you.

 

[Star*]

It sounds to me like he's either witnessed sexual abuse or been abused by his actions.

If you aren't comfortable reporting it verbally - then write a letter to the school therapist and tell her without signing the letter.

But DO find a way to have this monitored. I would think the school therapist could just sit in on a few classes or observe for a week and find out for herself if it's true or not.

GOOD JOB to your son - I really like how he reported it to you and wasn't using vulgar terms. GOOD GOING KIDDO! Proud of him!

 

[PersonalEnigma]

He could be on the autistic spectrum and touching himself could be his form of stimming. Hard to say. I would bring up the whole "George of the Jungle" thing to the teachers since they don't seem to get it. It never hurts to ask/inform as long as you are not being accusatory about things.

 

[klmno]

Thank you, all! I emailed the principal about a meeting to go over my difficult child's psychiatric report next week and mentioned that he'd told me something disturbing that I thought they should be aware of. I'll discuss it in detail with her next week- she doesn't automatically go broadcast everything berfore thinking, like some of the admin. assts. do. I also told her that if my difficult child had fabricated this, I would definitely want to know- although I really don't think he did. I'm not sure how much of he saw and knows for sure and how much might be gossip getting out of hand- which would still need to be stopped.

I feel for the other difficult child if a shread of this is true- he obviously can't help what's going on with him and is not getting it. Really, I worry about him more than the other kids-
I just don't get why a school teaches all staff and teachers to look out for signs of child abuse, violence, breaking code of conduct, illness (fever, contagious symptoms), etc., but never teaches them a darn thing about signs of mental illness- even the more common things like depression, etc. It seems like the ones who notice that something is wrong in this area (like the nurse who posted yesterday) just happened to care and find out things on their own. Notice how when they all thought there was a simple catch-all answer of ADHD and the kid gets Ritilan or something to call him down- they all became qualified to diagnosis our kids. Well, I'm working on it- they need to become aware real quick!! Actually, the principal here might be willing to let someone come in and give a little class to the teachers/staff-we'll see!