Yesterday husband and I were talking about all the mixed emotions that live inside you with a difficult child and how one day anger with them comes to the surface, the next feeling sorry for them/wanting to fix it, etc. Our difficult child is now in a 28 day rehab program, but may face jail time for writing tons of bad checks. Our thought/question -- if YOU were facing jail time, when you were at home with all kinds of time, would you not be on the phone or doing whatever you needed to do to give you the best chance of probation, no jail time, etc.??? I would be in a panic if I thought I might go to jail. Our difficult child never has a sense of urgency about anything. I know she is severely depressed, but.... You can say to her "you most likely will go to jail for a little while" and she says she knows, but I really think deep down they think they will be rescued because that is what we have done for SO LONG!! Any thoughts?? As hard as it is, we are trying our best to detach. We are helping her where we can, but there is definitely no guarantee that even with help she won't get jail time. Maybe that is what she needs to wake her up. When she came out of Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in 2005, she was great for 3+ years, strong, etc., but being in a toxic relationship and refusing to leave it drove her back to bad habits. It is just so sad because she has been a great mother 95% of the past 23 months, but doesn't seem to be worried that she could very well lose it all for a time -- maybe losing it is what has to happen. Selfishly, it will limit our ability to see our precious, precious granddaughter -- we will have to put out all the effort to see her because sister in law and his parents certainly won't go out of their way to make sure she knows us, too. Again, if I thought I was going to jail, I wouldn't be online or watching TV all day!! Only a difficult child!