Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Debdeb1031, Jan 15, 2008.

  1. Debdeb1031

    Debdeb1031 New Member

    Hello all....Ever since the stabbing Chris had gotton worse and worse....His overeating is out of control and his "bad" behaviors are happening more and more, even in front of other people (both family and nonmembers)....He was doing so much better until this happened to them....usually when he doesn't get his way is when the fits begin....he will ask me for x and when i say no, all hell breaks loose....i'm told to drop dead and that he wishes i was the one that my ex had killed...etc. etc....then he comes over and wants a hug and tells me how much he loves me...anyways, we are going to a group therapy, where the moms go in one room and the kids go in another to do art of the moms was telling me how her teenage son has intermittent(sp?) explosive disorder, and we compared how similar our boys were and i'm wondering if his diagnosis of ODD is wrong?? only because none of the medications seem to work for him going in that direction...anyone ever hear of this??? can it be similar to ODD??? I looked it up, but i know if anyone here has the experience they tell it first hand, and sometimes moms help better than doctors, since we are the ones on the front line so to any info would be greatly appreciated ladies..
  2. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Darlin, I am so glad you posted. I was just thinking of you today. Wondering how those kids are.

    I believe that ODD and Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED) have some overlapping. Diligence pays off; this is not an exact science. You may have to go through several medication combinations before you hit on the right one.

    Thinking about you and keeping your family in my prayers.
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Hi, Deb! You're obviously going through quite a bit- Sorry- but you'll find support here! I'm not familiar with the history you've posted so I can't offer advice. Obviously, something is going on with your difficult child and he sounds confused on top of not even knowing what is going on with himself. Try to hang in there- get as much prof advice as you can and remember there is a lot of experience and support here!
  4. Josie

    Josie Active Member

    One of my girls was diagnosis'ed Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED) and the other one, with the ODD diagnosis, had it mentioned as a second opinion diagnosis.

    My opinion of both the Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED) and the ODD diagnosis is that it is a symptom of something else. I don't really think it is an answer. So, to me, it doesn't really matter what they call it. Just MHO.

    FWIW, they were prescribed Seroquel to deal with it. For one of them, it was going to be a pretty high dose. We opted to try other methods so I don't know how it would have worked.
  5. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Deb, you and your kids have been through a lot. I'm no expert, but it sounds to me as if he's acting out his anxiety over what happened with worsening behavior. If the current medications aren't working -- and both happen to be used for anxiety -- you need to talk to the psychiatrist about either upping doses or finding other medications to do the job. If he's not already getting individual therapy, you might want to consider adding that in as well.

    Good luck. Sending healing thoughts your way.
  6. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Sending BIG hugs!!!
    You and your kids have been through SO much, I cannot help but think that Anthony's responding to the stress and trauma in his life. Kid's with mental illness, often have an even harder and more dramatic way of dealing with trauma. The stress seems to exacerbate their already present mental challenges.

    I have thought a lot about whether my son is ODD or Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED), but actually doctors have never really committed to one or the other. His main diagnosis is Bi-Polar, complicated by the NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD) - and thus he manifests ODD like behavior - as well as anxiety, depression, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) stuff, etc.........The docs have always chosen to treat his Bi-Polar first and foremost, hoping it would alleviate the other stuff. It has not always worked, thus the reason we have added things like Paxil.

    Has your son tried any medications? I assume grief counselors are working with him? And it sounds like you have him in therapy which is awesome. This will all just take some time to resolve itself. I know, for my son, his issues with his dad are still ongoing...........despite 17 years of help. I assume your son will have some lifetime repercussions from all of this. I believe the most you can ask for is that he is able to find some resolution and peace at some point with his feelings, instead of acting them out. However he may need some medications to help with that.

    Hang in there :warrior:
  7. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hey Deb! Glad to hear they're all "up and at YOU again!". How's rere feeling?

    He's been through a lot lately (as have all of you). Did you have a full neuropsychologist done on him? Who actually provided the diagnosis on him? The reason I ask is that so many of our kids are diagnosed ADHD/ODD and then later on we find out that there's something else behind it that should have been being cared for as well that we're ready to choke the stuffin' out of the original "diagnoser".

    BBK has it dead on: it's not an exact science.

    Are you anywhere Robert Wood Johnson? They're such a huge facility that they may do neuropsychologist's. As a matter of fact, with the trauma that you guys recently went through, they may push you through faster than us "street Moms" (lol!)!

    The more info you bring, the more info you're armed with will help you down the road. I'd definately go this route.

    Later kiddo and sooooo glad you're back!

    Beth of SI
  8. Debdeb1031

    Debdeb1031 New Member

    Thanks all....the kids are definitely back to abnormal...:)... we have both going therapy once a week in new brunswick at the PALS program (domestic violence counselors) as well as the state run at home therapy two hours a week...
    Beth...I love Robert Wood fact that is where they were all taken after the stabbings...the children's hospital is absolutely can bet your bottom dollar that i am using their trama fully to their advantage...
    Rere is doing fine....she is completely tube free, and today she has an appointment with the surgeon so hopefully she can go back to school on at least a half day basis...she still needs me to wipe her butt and she can't sit for too long in the same spot, since the scar on her back is on her hip bone...she was complaining that her chest hurt near her heart, but being half Italian i am thinking it's my 93 year old italian grandmother, every pain is gas and no matter what you will get hemmorroids and are the three maladies that we suffer or will suffer from in the future...
    The boys have been going to a nuerodevelopmental shrink, but since this happened, my blue cross/blue shield has contacted me personally to help me with anything at all that the kids need, so i will call my case manager directly...
    Also, we have to meet with the prosecutors office again to have them question her to see if she was being sexually abused by her father as well(we now know he was a covicted sex offender)...i personally would rather have the therapist see if that was the case, and help her move on, but with them interviewing her and finding out that is true, then they have more ammo for the case to not go to trial, and just lock him up for life...I just want life to get back to a little normalcy...I know i am depressed (i don't even change out of my pajamas for a day or two), but nothing that a little chocolate can't solve :smile:
    I can't believe that this has all happened, and the things that are coming out about their father's home life makes me so ill....I'm finding out that he was giving them nyquil to go to sleep everytime they were there for visitation, yet the *%&%* would fight me over giving chris his medicine for his behavior...I don't understand it and i never will...On top of that, I have dyfs involved to make sure i am getting the kids their therapy(like i haven't been doing that 4 years for their behavior), but just knowing they are involved makes everything so stressful...and i can tell you all firsthand, that they do absolutely nothing for the kids at fact just a few days ago, a mother with an open dyfs case killed her 9 month old since we have to keep going back to court to show what we are doing, i am going to :censored2: them dry for every resource finacially that i can...even in court the children's advocate questioned why they were stressing my family like they were...the judge actually apologized and said that bob and i are not the criminals it's just to insure that they receive all benefits that they are entitled to...Well i vented enough...pray that i keep my sanity in dealing with all this...i have been out of work since this happened, so also pray that i do not receive an eviction it rains it pours
  9. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Just remember, if you want to step away for a cuppa coffee and a bagel, I can meet you at Woodbridge! lol

    It would be great if they can do a neuropsychologist. It wouldn't be the first time that some great revelation came from a missed diagnosis!

    RWJ is sooo awesome, if my benefits would have covered it, I would have had all 3 of mine (neuropsychologist's) done there. They are like the East Coast Mayo Clinic! Up to date on EVERYTHING!

    Keeping you in the dreaded prayers!

  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I have been thinking about you and the kids too.

    Sorry that the kids are acting out but I am so not surprised. I am sure they will have PTSD for years to come from all this. That would be my guess as to why your son is acting right now. He simply doesnt have the tools to act any other way. Compare it to combat vets.

    Getting him therapy and maybe checking the medications is a good thing. Sticking with him through thick and thin is about all you can do. Inside there is a scared little boy who had awful stuff happen to him. He needs mommy but cant say it.
  11. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Hey daughter,

    Check into Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - your son's comments are pretty indicative of what he's going through and I would recommend more ONE ON ONE counseling from a good psychiatrist. He's angry and doesn't know where to direct the energy so because YOU will NEVER leave him - you're getting a more than healthy dose.

    Kids need to know it is Okay to be angry - but how you handle that anger has to be in an appropriate manner - his outbursts if left unhandled will continue and get MUCH worse.

    Sorry - hugs