Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Robinboots, Jan 14, 2010.

  1. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    So, if your CD teen becomes "good" for a few days - yes, as I posted last week I think - do you suspect something? Are you tense, waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop? Or do you just take it as it comes?

    Okay, sorry, a few questions!

    GFG17 was great for a few days last week - I assumed the medications were working some kind of wonder here, because really all they do is take the rage/anger down a few notches. Well, I guess it's still there, but it's pretty subdued. Which is great! For starters.

    The snarky part of me thought maybe his good behavior, pleasant, helpful attitude, etc. was because he'd gotten permission to spend the night at a friend's house on Saturday and he KNOWS for certain sure that we'd yank that in a heartbeat if he acted up.

    Sunday was okay - setting the stage for a repeat, as long as he wasn't a PITA after an overnight...Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday he was a royal PITA. Wednesday afternoon we took away the car and had a kinda/sorta blow-up.

    Today he's great! Cleaned up the garage, asked what else he could do, started his laundry, went grocery shopping with me. Perfectly fine and well, normal.

    I WANT him to be fine. My gut says he just wants the flippin car back.

  2. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Yes, my gut would be clenched waiting for the other shoe to drop every single time.

    Seems that she'd be better behaved whenever she was up to no good or vying for a new privilege or to get another privilege back. Then she'd get tired of the wait or she'd think I too suspicious and flip on me. I was always on guard....if this is your difficult child's pattern you should be on guard also.
  3. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    A week is not nearly long enough for me to believe that it's a pattern let alone a permanent change!

    I would also stay on my guard. If after 6 months things are going well, then I might start to relax a little bit.

  4. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    Oh good. I guess. I mean, at least I'm not being suspicious for nothing, and yes, it's his pattern.

    Things go well.
    We discover he's up to no good.
    We let him know we know, one way or another.
    He flips out.
    He loses something.
    He behaves until he gets something back.
  5. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Do you think an escalation of consequences for repeat offenses, even if they're spaced by a month or more, is something he'd respond to?

    In other words, the first time he screws up he gets consequence A. The second time he screws up, it's consequence B (which equals A squared), and so on. Until he simply does not get the privilege back at all. Of course he'd have to have this explained explicitly AND have frequent reminders.

    Just thinking out loud -- no idea if that's an appropriate way to deal with it and I've never even tried it myself.
  6. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I've always wanted to grasp onto those new & strange things going on with my difficult child ~ I learned quickly that a week is too soon.

    I have to give it more time - I'm up to 6 months now at the very least before I trust anything.