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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 717725" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>People online say the most horrible, rude things because they are not face to face with their audience. They would not ever say most of that to you face to face. Why? Because their own kids are horrible and they know it. Plus half the time they know they are the parents who just yammer at the kids and NEVER get up and make the kid do what they tell them to do. The other half the time they think they are the best parents ever and really they are the worst.</p><p></p><p>Ignore parents on facebook unless you know them. I have found mostly people on facebook just pile on and are rude. Of course I have yet to figure out the purpose of facebook, so don't take me as any sort of an authority. But don't use those people as any sort of authority. They are just random people yammering at you because they don't want to face their own kids.</p><p></p><p>As far as help for you, there isn't much. You can get help from a domestic violence center because it is domestic violence. I will warn you that many DV centers won't know what to do. Parents abusing children, spouses abusing each other, those they know what to do with. Children abusing parents? That confuses them. Mine figured out a program to help me, but they had to consult with the university here to come up with it. Other centers might not know how. It is worth asking. </p><p></p><p>As for people saying they would beat the kid if it was their kid. So what? If wishes were horses, beggars would ride. Reality is that beating our kids accomplishes absolutely nothing except making them worse. So go ahead, let these people beat difficult kids. But only if they are going to live with them and keep them out of any society I am going to live in. There is a LOT of research that shows it just makes kids more violent. I think our difficult kids are violent enough, don't you?</p><p></p><p>As for how to help our kids? Pretty much the best we can do is allow them to live with the consequences of their choices. Not enable them as much as we can handle, while recognizing that it is okay to give some help if it will give our hurting hearts a small bit of ease. </p><p></p><p>I am so sorry that there isn't a magic fix to recommend. This entire situation just stinks, and all those facebook people sure don't help any with their suggestions and their 'perfect' kids.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 717725, member: 1233"] People online say the most horrible, rude things because they are not face to face with their audience. They would not ever say most of that to you face to face. Why? Because their own kids are horrible and they know it. Plus half the time they know they are the parents who just yammer at the kids and NEVER get up and make the kid do what they tell them to do. The other half the time they think they are the best parents ever and really they are the worst. Ignore parents on facebook unless you know them. I have found mostly people on facebook just pile on and are rude. Of course I have yet to figure out the purpose of facebook, so don't take me as any sort of an authority. But don't use those people as any sort of authority. They are just random people yammering at you because they don't want to face their own kids. As far as help for you, there isn't much. You can get help from a domestic violence center because it is domestic violence. I will warn you that many DV centers won't know what to do. Parents abusing children, spouses abusing each other, those they know what to do with. Children abusing parents? That confuses them. Mine figured out a program to help me, but they had to consult with the university here to come up with it. Other centers might not know how. It is worth asking. As for people saying they would beat the kid if it was their kid. So what? If wishes were horses, beggars would ride. Reality is that beating our kids accomplishes absolutely nothing except making them worse. So go ahead, let these people beat difficult kids. But only if they are going to live with them and keep them out of any society I am going to live in. There is a LOT of research that shows it just makes kids more violent. I think our difficult kids are violent enough, don't you? As for how to help our kids? Pretty much the best we can do is allow them to live with the consequences of their choices. Not enable them as much as we can handle, while recognizing that it is okay to give some help if it will give our hurting hearts a small bit of ease. I am so sorry that there isn't a magic fix to recommend. This entire situation just stinks, and all those facebook people sure don't help any with their suggestions and their 'perfect' kids. [/QUOTE]
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