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Parent Emeritus
Questioning self
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 674363" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>You are not to blame. You are not 100% of his DNA or 100% of his environment. He has a bio. father, peers, teachers and others in his life. Unless you beat him up every day or, if he's on drugs, forced him at gunpoint to use drugs, how is it your fault if an adult child of yours made bad choices, in spite of his upbringing? Please do not think this way. Our kids are a product of genetics and their total environment and their experiences that we had NO control over.</p><p></p><p>Once a young person turns eighteen we have legally no control and their choices are on their shoulders and we can't help them if they don't want help. I am positive you did EVERYTHING you could, if not MORE than most would. Most of us here have gone over the top to help our difficult kids and are wonderful people and good parents too.</p><p></p><p>Our adult children are responsible for how they behave, not anyone else. Please stop torturing yourself...you did not teach him to do these things. He knows better and is choosing to ignore what he knows.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 674363, member: 1550"] You are not to blame. You are not 100% of his DNA or 100% of his environment. He has a bio. father, peers, teachers and others in his life. Unless you beat him up every day or, if he's on drugs, forced him at gunpoint to use drugs, how is it your fault if an adult child of yours made bad choices, in spite of his upbringing? Please do not think this way. Our kids are a product of genetics and their total environment and their experiences that we had NO control over. Once a young person turns eighteen we have legally no control and their choices are on their shoulders and we can't help them if they don't want help. I am positive you did EVERYTHING you could, if not MORE than most would. Most of us here have gone over the top to help our difficult kids and are wonderful people and good parents too. Our adult children are responsible for how they behave, not anyone else. Please stop torturing yourself...you did not teach him to do these things. He knows better and is choosing to ignore what he knows. [/QUOTE]
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