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Questions about my ODD son
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<blockquote data-quote="B Warren" data-source="post: 640920" data-attributes="member: 18574"><p>Thank you Cedar, for your understanding. I have wondered how I could motivate him over and over. I believe it is my job now as his parent to ensure he is helping with the dishes every day, doing his laundry, keeping his room clean, going to school, and looking for a job, so that when he's going to leave home, he's ready. We were met with so much resistance and drama over the years that we kept dealing with the behaviour first in the hopes that it would change and he would eventually "get it", and see how important these things are in adulthood. Now we have to get a little tougher on him to get him to cooperate. I think this is possible, but its not going to be instant, and that is also ok. I am in no way saying that I don't want my son to succeed, I do more than anything. I'm saying that we just have not been pushing him very hard up to this point, but that doesn't mean we are never going to. Because of this strong resistance, I think time did have to go by until he kind of grew up and out of it a little. He's there now, so we have started to focus on expectations more. I think with time, his thought processes will change, and the depression does seem to be going bit by bit. He also has charges against him while a minor and it is going to be going to court for sentencing in January. I think the conditions the courts lay on him will be a perfect starting point for all those doors to open and for him to kickstart his adult life 100%. He will have no choice, and we are going to use this to our full advantage...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="B Warren, post: 640920, member: 18574"] Thank you Cedar, for your understanding. I have wondered how I could motivate him over and over. I believe it is my job now as his parent to ensure he is helping with the dishes every day, doing his laundry, keeping his room clean, going to school, and looking for a job, so that when he's going to leave home, he's ready. We were met with so much resistance and drama over the years that we kept dealing with the behaviour first in the hopes that it would change and he would eventually "get it", and see how important these things are in adulthood. Now we have to get a little tougher on him to get him to cooperate. I think this is possible, but its not going to be instant, and that is also ok. I am in no way saying that I don't want my son to succeed, I do more than anything. I'm saying that we just have not been pushing him very hard up to this point, but that doesn't mean we are never going to. Because of this strong resistance, I think time did have to go by until he kind of grew up and out of it a little. He's there now, so we have started to focus on expectations more. I think with time, his thought processes will change, and the depression does seem to be going bit by bit. He also has charges against him while a minor and it is going to be going to court for sentencing in January. I think the conditions the courts lay on him will be a perfect starting point for all those doors to open and for him to kickstart his adult life 100%. He will have no choice, and we are going to use this to our full advantage... [/QUOTE]
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