Quick holiday update

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by witzend, Nov 21, 2009.

  1. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I called M today to make arrangements for Thanksgiving dinner. I told him that I was telling him about Christmas in advance because L gets too worked up about holidays and I need him to be in the loop for me before hand.

    So, I told him that husband and I are not giving or receiving gifts this year. If he needs something for his apartment or bedding or clothing he should let us know closer to Christmas and we would take him shopping then when the prices are good, but there will be no Guitar Hero's or PS3's. He was happy with that.

    So, now onward to L, quietly at Thanksgiving when we have time to take her aside. She'll get the same offer. If there is something she needs that is not a luxury (no Coach purses) we'll help her out. Otherwise, we're happy to come and eat.

    Whew/Phew! One down...
  2. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE


    Nice job, Witz. It sounds like you handled it calmly and pleasantly and it was taken that way. Excellent news!

  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    It's lookin' good. :)

    I think I was lucky. Once my kids were adults they no longer expected me to buy xmas for them as I did when they were kids.........But then I prepared them for that beforehand in normal conversations.

    mother in law was always huge on the gift giving, and got the adults as much as the kids. I never did think that was really appropriate.......and it always made me feel uncomfortable. My kids knew this, so maybe that helped too.

    Fingers crossed with M to back you up that at least maybe L will be too embarrassed to object.

  4. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    L? (blink, blink...) Embarrassed? (blink, blink, blink...) I'm thinking not!

  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Well I can dream can't I??? :rofl:
  6. ML

    ML Guest

    Well you got the easy one out of the way first. I encourage you to continue to express your preferance for the holidays in this way. The IS the eptimony of establishing healthy boundaries. If you were to participate in the holidays with resentment in your heart how authentic would that be? We don't get to control the outcome unfortunately, but you *are* doing the right thing for you and I'm proud of you. ML