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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 744076" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Hi Beta,</p><p>Thanks for the update.</p><p></p><p></p><p>This last time my son was released from prison he asked for another copy of his birth certificate so he could get an ID. To be honest, I have lost count of how many I have sent him, I think this was number 6 or 7. I did tell him this was the last one. The last time I did it was a few years ago and I had to do it online. Like you, my husband and I moved to another state so I went online, plugged in all the information and requested 2 copies of son's birth cert. at the cost of $70 and then there was the cost of sending it overnight - both times. My son is a little older than yours, he will be 37 next month. I stressed to him that he better keep track of these important documents because I will not do this for him again.</p><p></p><p></p><p>As I said, my husband and I also moved to another state. When we moved our son was in prison and he made sure he let us know how he felt, that we were abandoning him, didn't care or love him, etc......</p><p>When son was released from prison I flew to Denver, collected him and flew him back to where we live. We purchased a small house for him to live in rent free. All we asked was that he get a job and start to put his life together. We paid for all his clothes, food, cell phone, bus pass, electric, gas, etc..... I mean this kid had it made. Long story short, he blew it.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes, without proper paperwork it's not easy to obtain an ID. One of the times my son was needing a copy of his birth cert. he told me he could get it if I gave him my and husbands social security numbers. Ya, that didn't happen. I will never give him my ss number!</p><p></p><p></p><p>It was nice that he did this.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Beta, he's using you and your husband's moving as an excuse for his anger and bitterness. His heart is not unmovable towards you, it's unmovable towards himself.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I think there is some love there or he would not have sent the text apologizing. The fact that he did that simple thing shows he has some feelings.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes, this is a good thing. A hard thing but a good thing.</p><p>Try and do one thing daily that is just for you. It doesn't have to be anything grand, just something that will bring a smile to your face. Buy yourself some flowers, feed the ducks at a park, go shopping and try on things you would never really buy - trust me, this will make you laugh!</p><p></p><p></p><p>This is wonderful and I'm so glad you are doing this. </p><p></p><p>The love you have for your son will never go away but he has his own journey to travel, just as you have yours. Live your life as best you can. Please do not buy into your son trying to make you feel guilty for moving, he's using it as an excuse for his poor choices. Until he truly accepts responsibility for the choices he has made nothing will change for him. Blaming us the parents, well that's easy for them. It's a manipulation tool that serves them well, they use it to make us feel guilty and to get others to feel sorry for them but remember, it's a manipulation tool and nothing more.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there Beta!!</p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/notalone.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":notalone:" title="notalone :notalone:" data-shortname=":notalone:" /><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/staystrong.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":staystrong:" title="staystrong :staystrong:" data-shortname=":staystrong:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 744076, member: 18516"] Hi Beta, Thanks for the update. This last time my son was released from prison he asked for another copy of his birth certificate so he could get an ID. To be honest, I have lost count of how many I have sent him, I think this was number 6 or 7. I did tell him this was the last one. The last time I did it was a few years ago and I had to do it online. Like you, my husband and I moved to another state so I went online, plugged in all the information and requested 2 copies of son's birth cert. at the cost of $70 and then there was the cost of sending it overnight - both times. My son is a little older than yours, he will be 37 next month. I stressed to him that he better keep track of these important documents because I will not do this for him again. As I said, my husband and I also moved to another state. When we moved our son was in prison and he made sure he let us know how he felt, that we were abandoning him, didn't care or love him, etc...... When son was released from prison I flew to Denver, collected him and flew him back to where we live. We purchased a small house for him to live in rent free. All we asked was that he get a job and start to put his life together. We paid for all his clothes, food, cell phone, bus pass, electric, gas, etc..... I mean this kid had it made. Long story short, he blew it. Yes, without proper paperwork it's not easy to obtain an ID. One of the times my son was needing a copy of his birth cert. he told me he could get it if I gave him my and husbands social security numbers. Ya, that didn't happen. I will never give him my ss number! It was nice that he did this. Beta, he's using you and your husband's moving as an excuse for his anger and bitterness. His heart is not unmovable towards you, it's unmovable towards himself. I think there is some love there or he would not have sent the text apologizing. The fact that he did that simple thing shows he has some feelings. Yes, this is a good thing. A hard thing but a good thing. Try and do one thing daily that is just for you. It doesn't have to be anything grand, just something that will bring a smile to your face. Buy yourself some flowers, feed the ducks at a park, go shopping and try on things you would never really buy - trust me, this will make you laugh! This is wonderful and I'm so glad you are doing this. The love you have for your son will never go away but he has his own journey to travel, just as you have yours. Live your life as best you can. Please do not buy into your son trying to make you feel guilty for moving, he's using it as an excuse for his poor choices. Until he truly accepts responsibility for the choices he has made nothing will change for him. Blaming us the parents, well that's easy for them. It's a manipulation tool that serves them well, they use it to make us feel guilty and to get others to feel sorry for them but remember, it's a manipulation tool and nothing more. Hang in there Beta!! :notalone::staystrong: [/QUOTE]
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