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<blockquote data-quote="HeadlightsMom" data-source="post: 638123" data-attributes="member: 18284"><p>Everyone -- Thank you so much for your kind words and support! 2 things occur as I read your replies....</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>HF --- Thanks for posting this line. I guess I could stop posting when things are good. But, honestly, that never occurred to me. Our difficult child has much in common with all of our difficult child's: crime (jailed repeatedly), drug use (hardcore -- meth, heroin, ecstasy, etc), school suspensions (kicked out of every single school he ever attended - didn't finish 10th grade), police-worthy insolence (same stories as you all have), psychiatrists (some good, some not....but all needed), medications (oh vey.... Risperdal, Zyprexa, Klonipin, Seroquel, Depakote, Paxil, Adderall, etc).</p><p></p><p>Our stories are similar, so I feel all of your hearts in here! Yes, we post here in times of difficulty -- we're all in this together. And I choose to post here in times of celebration (no matter how small or brief) -- we're all in this together! The bad times are so intense and numerous. The good times are rare and sacred -- worthy of celebration!</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>You all are a great source of comfort and affirmation for me, too! Really. It's such a lonely place to think that we're the only ones. I have a dear friend with 2 kids with Cystic Fibrosis. She can speak of her children's hospitalizations and receive much glowing support. When we who have difficult child's speak of our kids' hospitalizations (or jail time, etc), we occasionally receive support, but often we receive a load of blame garbage for our parenting. Thaaaaanks..........that was ever so helpful. NOT! :/ We try to enlighten others who it is to raise a difficult child, but they cannot understand (like trying to tell a blind person what blue is). I get that. But they don't need to tell us how to change our lives, meanwhile boasting how their pretty Muffy and Buffy are at Yale now because they were wonderful parents. Muffy and Buffy just followed their lead. Thaaaaaanks, again.........ever so helpful, again. NOT! :/ But I'm here to remind y'all that our difficult child's do what they do -- independent of anyone else (including us parents).</p><p></p><p>But I digress...........imagine that? LOLOL! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p></p><p>Just saying that I am one of you, and you are one of me..........and we all are a part of us. And it's ok to be us because we're pretty friggin' strong! And we can grow both our strength of will/resolve and our softness of heart at the same time. We CAN do this!</p><p></p><p>No, I don't feel strong every day. Far from it. But I do feel strong today. And EVERY single day I feel strong, I seek to share it with others because it's a Win-Win.........It strengthens both the speaker and the listeners. And everyone in this forum takes turns being speakers and listeners. LIke I said, it's a Win-Win for us all.</p><p></p><p>We each have our own voice, focus, and gift for expressing our strength. Just by entering this forum it's a strength! By speaking out, is another strength. Speaking out ideas, speaking out comfort, speaking out humor and, perhaps most of all..........speaking out our fears. Speaking out our fears? .......... Now that's some kind of admirable strength right there!</p><p></p><p>We are stronger than we know! That's my story and I'm stickin' to it! Whether our difficult child thrives or dives I CHOOSE to remain strong in myself and in all of us being united!</p><p></p><p>Maybe our difficult child's make it -- or maybe they don't. Maybe our difficult child falls off the wagon tomorrow -- or maybe he doesn't. I don't know. But my journey is about ME and his journey is about HIM. If my journey were about HIM, I'd lay down everything I had to change him. But......I tried that and it didn't work. Shoot, we've all tried that. It doesn't work. Why? Because THEIR journey is THEIRS. They can't live OUR lives any better than we can live THEIRS.</p><p></p><p>And I choose Radical Acceptance With Enthusiasm! Enthusiasm is an important tool in my toolbox. Of course, sometimes I will complain with enthusiasm, too! LOLOL! Seriously, I'm no saint. I get upset with the best of 'em. And it's all valid -- this is brutal stuff. I have cried myself a whole new ocean over the years.</p><p></p><p>But as long as I'm breathing, that's reason enough for me to choose Gratitude -- No matter what difficult child does. And the more I emboss Gratitude onto my soul, the stronger I become -- No matter what difficult child does.</p><p></p><p>Thank you all for listening, for sharing your hearts, for being so smart and creative in your ideas. Thank you all for just being you!</p><p></p><p>Today is a good day!</p><p></p><p>We now return you to your regularly-scheduled programming. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HeadlightsMom, post: 638123, member: 18284"] Everyone -- Thank you so much for your kind words and support! 2 things occur as I read your replies.... HF --- Thanks for posting this line. I guess I could stop posting when things are good. But, honestly, that never occurred to me. Our difficult child has much in common with all of our difficult child's: crime (jailed repeatedly), drug use (hardcore -- meth, heroin, ecstasy, etc), school suspensions (kicked out of every single school he ever attended - didn't finish 10th grade), police-worthy insolence (same stories as you all have), psychiatrists (some good, some not....but all needed), medications (oh vey.... Risperdal, Zyprexa, Klonipin, Seroquel, Depakote, Paxil, Adderall, etc). Our stories are similar, so I feel all of your hearts in here! Yes, we post here in times of difficulty -- we're all in this together. And I choose to post here in times of celebration (no matter how small or brief) -- we're all in this together! The bad times are so intense and numerous. The good times are rare and sacred -- worthy of celebration! You all are a great source of comfort and affirmation for me, too! Really. It's such a lonely place to think that we're the only ones. I have a dear friend with 2 kids with Cystic Fibrosis. She can speak of her children's hospitalizations and receive much glowing support. When we who have difficult child's speak of our kids' hospitalizations (or jail time, etc), we occasionally receive support, but often we receive a load of blame garbage for our parenting. Thaaaaanks..........that was ever so helpful. NOT! :/ We try to enlighten others who it is to raise a difficult child, but they cannot understand (like trying to tell a blind person what blue is). I get that. But they don't need to tell us how to change our lives, meanwhile boasting how their pretty Muffy and Buffy are at Yale now because they were wonderful parents. Muffy and Buffy just followed their lead. Thaaaaaanks, again.........ever so helpful, again. NOT! :/ But I'm here to remind y'all that our difficult child's do what they do -- independent of anyone else (including us parents). But I digress...........imagine that? LOLOL! ;) Just saying that I am one of you, and you are one of me..........and we all are a part of us. And it's ok to be us because we're pretty friggin' strong! And we can grow both our strength of will/resolve and our softness of heart at the same time. We CAN do this! No, I don't feel strong every day. Far from it. But I do feel strong today. And EVERY single day I feel strong, I seek to share it with others because it's a Win-Win.........It strengthens both the speaker and the listeners. And everyone in this forum takes turns being speakers and listeners. LIke I said, it's a Win-Win for us all. We each have our own voice, focus, and gift for expressing our strength. Just by entering this forum it's a strength! By speaking out, is another strength. Speaking out ideas, speaking out comfort, speaking out humor and, perhaps most of all..........speaking out our fears. Speaking out our fears? .......... Now that's some kind of admirable strength right there! We are stronger than we know! That's my story and I'm stickin' to it! Whether our difficult child thrives or dives I CHOOSE to remain strong in myself and in all of us being united! Maybe our difficult child's make it -- or maybe they don't. Maybe our difficult child falls off the wagon tomorrow -- or maybe he doesn't. I don't know. But my journey is about ME and his journey is about HIM. If my journey were about HIM, I'd lay down everything I had to change him. But......I tried that and it didn't work. Shoot, we've all tried that. It doesn't work. Why? Because THEIR journey is THEIRS. They can't live OUR lives any better than we can live THEIRS. And I choose Radical Acceptance With Enthusiasm! Enthusiasm is an important tool in my toolbox. Of course, sometimes I will complain with enthusiasm, too! LOLOL! Seriously, I'm no saint. I get upset with the best of 'em. And it's all valid -- this is brutal stuff. I have cried myself a whole new ocean over the years. But as long as I'm breathing, that's reason enough for me to choose Gratitude -- No matter what difficult child does. And the more I emboss Gratitude onto my soul, the stronger I become -- No matter what difficult child does. Thank you all for listening, for sharing your hearts, for being so smart and creative in your ideas. Thank you all for just being you! Today is a good day! We now return you to your regularly-scheduled programming. :D [/QUOTE]
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