Quite the day!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by tiredmommy, May 9, 2009.

  1. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    My church had it's 2nd Annual Mother's Day Tea today. I had bought 5 tickets: one for me, one for my aunt, three for my sister in law, Well, sister in law couldn't attend so my neighbor, her mom & Duckie's friend came. Duckie actually worked... handing out programs & serving food. She did very well! :thumbsup: Of course the organizers bribed the kids with pizza and a prize at the end. Duckie won a Siamese Cat Webkinz. She was really happy!

    It was a pleasant time but the weather didn't cooperate. We had a wind storm and the power went out for 45 minutes. :hammer: Thankfully the gas stove still worked so the water stayed hot for the tea.

    The best part was that we had well over 20 red hatters attend... and these ladies know how to have fun, lol! They all wore red and purple and laughed the afternoon away. I hope to be like them someday!

    My aunt, though, nearly brought me to tears on the way there. My mother is her sister and she knows about the relationship problems we've had over the years. She told me that she had always tried to push me to accept my mother, not to blame my mother for her shortcomings but she was wrong. She didn't want her sister to lose her daughter.

    She told my mother didn't deserve a daughter like me and I deserved better. I don't know if that's true or not but it lifted a burden off me. I don't feel responsible for our relationship anymore. It doesn't have to be up to me all the time.

    Anyway... Happy Mother's Day. I can't think of a better group of women to go through parenthood with. :)
  2. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Sound like a really special day. I'm glad you had a nice time. I totally understand the mother thing----no advice, just an understanding hug.
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Thanks Kat, it was a nice day. :)
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Sounds like a special day for both you and Duckie. :)

    Sweet of your aunt to tell you that. I think she knew you needed to hear it said outloud.

    My aunt was the one who told me that I should love my mother regardless of the person she is, but that didn't mean I had to like her. lol Made a huge difference in how I looked at things.

  5. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I'm glad your aunt's words lifted some of that burden for you. It's painful to go through life wishing we had a better or healthier relationship with a dysfunctional difficult child parent, but not able to really do anything about it. And even for those who are able to detach from that parent, I think there is always some sense of loss. I know I've gone through that with my dad. I think it would be even harder if it were my mom.

    We can't pick the family we're born into, but we can certainly surround ourselves with wonderful friends!
  6. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    TM - my mother in law is a red hatter. She has an entire attic full of red and purple things. I reluctantly went Goodwill shopping with her the other day (I am NOT a shopper) and she froze at everything red or purple. She just got back last night from a red hat convention in Chicago. I'm hoping to find some flowers today in those colors. They DO have fun.

  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    TM-What a nice day and how nice to hear that from your Aunt:)
  8. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    TM, what a wonderful healing gift your aunt gave you. It sounds like salve to an wound that gets opened with every meeting. Hugs to you.
  9. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Sorry I haven't replied... my internet is being a difficult child. husband talked me into calling my mother today because he didn't want me to feel guilty later. The conversation was strained but I got through it. Thanks for all the support.
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    TM, neat day (despite the windstorm!). Glad the red hat ladies were cheering everyone up!
    Your aunt sounds like a great person.
    Sorry about the call to your mom. You are a trooper. Sounds like one of those situations where you can never be good enough.
  11. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Sounds like your aunt wished she had you for her daughter instead of her sister. You should never feel guilty for the relationship with your mother. You have tried very hard to make it better. You mother made her choices. You have a better heart than me....I quit on my biomom in my teens and gave her one chance in my twenties, which she blew miserably. That was the last chance, in my book.
  12. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    What a lovely sentiment! How unselfish is your aunt? WOW!

    Hugs -
  13. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    And NOW you KNOW the entire gene pool isn't messed up. Apparently you and your aunt share some common recessive ones. That's wonderful. Glad you had a good dayl.
  14. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I took me a long time to realize that it is OK to remove a toxic person from my life no matter what the relationship. But to do it without residual guilt is a hard task. I am glad your aunt lightened your load. -RM