I got to talk to the dr alone today. Gave him an earful. One reason he listened is because difficult child didn't even show up. Had to assert his independence and all that. But the empty chair was practically shouting at us. He did not know that difficult child was blocking my way into my ofc, and not allowing me to call for help. He said that is against the law. He did not know that easy child lived with-friends for several mo's to get away from difficult child, and that we have locks on several doors. (Sigh. Maybe he speed-reads and just gave the initial psychiatric notes the once-over last yr and forgot what little he knew.) Today he was right on top of it. Asked me if I'd ever called CHINS. I told him I was on a support board and you all had suggested it yrs ago. I called and they blew me off, said something like I had too high of an income. He shook his head and wrote it down. If and when I need CHINS, I know now to call and get him to do that paperwork. He said do not hesitate to call the police at the first sign of aggression. Yeah, that would be nice, if I could actually call. I laughed, held out my arms, and said that difficult child didn't leave any marks, and he said his job is to make sure that mom and dad don't get beaten up. "You need to feel safe in your own home." I also told him about difficult child's anxiety issues with-opening and closing ceremonies at baseball. He was unaware of that, too. He is going to put difficult child on Abilify or another mood stablizer next mo, but didn't want to do it with-o difficult child being in the room. So we have an appointment and a plan. I told difficult child I'd let him get away once with-not going in, but he has to be there the rest of the time because the dr needs to see the real patient, because how does he know that mom and dad aren't eating the drugs? I think he understood that. Anyway, the dr said that we have to up the ante in regard to consequences and behavior since difficult child is now a teen, and it can only get worse, and I told him we had toured juvie yrs ago, and that the officer kept saying, "This kid is so good. Why did you bring him here?" doctor understood that ... he said most kids in juvie have some sort of untreated mental illness and difficult child is in for a rude awakening. Touring a smelly, empty bldg and being in the same cement bunk room with-a smelly, rude, potentially violent roomie is not the same thing. I talked to husband on the phone--he is out of town--and as I suspected, he was too busy the other day to understand that difficult child blocked me, physically, shoulder checked me, and prevented me from using the phone. He kept repeating, "But you said he got violent." I explained that IS violence and that the dr agreed. husband was sobered by that ... he doesn't "get it" and is often in la-la land. In fact, he's the one who came up with-the expression that if there's a room full of manure, he'd be looking for the pony. I keep telling him it's an elephant and the manure has been long gone. So when he gets home, I'll explain what the dr said about violence and what exactly violence is. husband has been watching too many shows where cars get blown up, and being too much of a "boys will be boys" guy to understand how this is really working. The dr also expressed concern about difficult child's potential to act out sexually with-girls, not knowing when enough is enough. When they say no, they mean it. I will find a time to talk to difficult child about that too. There are so many girls out there who are cougars, but then at the last second, they change their minds. Combined with-difficult child, that is a recipe for disaster. In the meantime, I got the scrips rewritten, all is calm at home, difficult child finally did the dishes from last night, My sister is bringing Dad back to assisted living from the cardiac unit of the hospital, and I am going to paint.