Rant - Just Ignore!!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by TPaul, Oct 6, 2009.

  1. TPaul

    TPaul Idecor8

    Ok, I think there was a rant thread, but to be truthful I did not want to spend the time looking for it, :tongue: I just have to spout off about somethings and know that there is someone somewhere that understands what life can be like with a BiPolar (BP) spouse. I don't know whether to shout or weep. Really, I don't hardly ever do this, but some vent has to spout to keep the pressure from building up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:dead:

    I am so POed at my wife, (dasterdly women) :mad:. She has been on a mania for about a week now. Hardly getting any sleep during the day. (she works nights). Gets home at 8:30 am or so, maybe asleep by 9 or 9:30am gets up by 12:30pm. Can't stand to just stay home and maybe work on the laundry, or even think about working on her part of the house, NOOO! She has to run about town and then when it is time for me to get off (6:00pm) she climbs back into bed and expects me to to then help all 5 kids with there homework. Make sure they get baths, wash hair, pick up rooms, etc............ They get out of school at 3:00 middle school and 3:30pm grade school. Does she have them work on their home work like we agreed she would, NOOOO!! Not Fair Dastardly Women - Zaps with super duper Lamictal laser stun gun with a goooey skin absorbent ambilify gel kicker !!!!! At least as of yet this mania has not been a hateful, bad mood, walk on egg shells, don't breath funny, look the wrong way or don't dare to ask a question mania!:disgusted:

    To add to the already over the top things that are going on, she is having car issues. Her mini van is on it's last couple of laps. We have plans to try to get her someting after the first of the year or so, well that has been the plan. While on this mania starting this Saturday she has been to car lots, been to look at a new pick up while I am at work, without talking to me, spring it on me while we are busy at the antique shop, and want a bunch of info and for me to talk to the salesman!! I think when she had me call him, I ever so sweetly let him know (by a few grunts and groans) with a nice sweet quiet voice as not to run all the buyers from the antiques store that we where not able at the time to pay a 400-500 dollar car payment!! I gave him my permission to run the check on the credit,( I know that believe it or not we don't have a lot of credit.
    *** Always paid cash when I was healthy before we married and then did not get any CC or take on a bill that we could not afford while I was mostly house bound. We just made ends meet on that small disability payment and I kept us taken care of. To keep all the utilities on, clothes on our backs and things for the house was no feat!!!*****
    I knew that if I told him know there would be H !!! to pay when I got off, if she did not come up to the shop and gripe at me. ( I would never go to her job the way she comes to mine, Another gripe, ignore).

    He never called called back on monday or today, so I know that with already on car loan on my pick up we bought this last March, that the answer would be no. I also did not say a thing about her calling me, her looking and asking without telling me till she was trying to do it, or anything, I sure have a sore tounge though, :faint:

    I disgress, her car is having brake trouble, it is apparently leaking break fluid and she has hardly any breaks. We put fluid in it Sunday, and still it did not help. They need to at least be bled. She knew she did not need to drive it and she told me so. I took her to work last night, and picked her up this morning. I made arrangements for the kids to ride the bus home all week and told her so. Well at 12:30pm she is out and about in the van, (looking for a second job I think, my 12 year old daughter told me she said she was going to work on her days off from her 1st job. CAN WE SEE WRECK IN THE PICTURE!! She came to the shop to ask for some money( her pay day is the 10th and she was out of her spending money) I gave her some and walked her out to the car. I asked why was she driving, didn't she know she just might have a wreck!! ( raining here too). She said I just did not understand, she had things to do and just had to drive it. ( Nothing that was an emergency) I was worried because she is not sleeping and driving and might get hurt. She got PO'd at me, said I just did not understand her and she did not want to talk. She raced off.

    Oldest daughter home at 3:00, no mom at home! I get off and find out that she went to school and got the other 4 from school, endangering them!!!!!! I am beyond livid that she did this. Even more because she called me this morning at 6:30am to remind me to tell them to ride the bus home. Sent letters to the 2 youngest teachers stating so. I just have to say again I can not believe that she endangered our children for no reason at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    She has to work tonight. I got home she is in bed. Food left out on the stove, kids homework not done. Nothing cleaned from supper, no clothes put away, etc... And watch she will want me to take her to work because of the van's brakes! I do not know whether to take her and then hide her keys for tomorrow, or what. I take Levi to his physiatirist an hour and a half away, and if I have her keys she will have to stay home. Of course she will throw a tissey, if I do!!!!!

    SOME DAYS I SO HATE B I P O L A R!!! I want a normal wife some days so bad!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Ok, enough rant, sorry for this, but I do feel a little better letting a little bit of it flow. Did not say anything to the kid, I feel bad if I do that, Did not gripe at her, or snot or snort at all. Just some space on the world wide web filled up and I know where I will hide the keys!! :angrydude:

    Thanks !!!!

    T. Paul
    I think I will hand some pictures in my office and decorate to feel better!!!
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Vent away! That's what we're here for ;) I'm sorry she's being so unreliable and unpredictable right now. You're doing the best you can, in all honesty, and have every reason to gripe. When does wife go back to see HER psychiatrist? I think a medication tweak is in order, and if she'll let you go to the appointment, perhaps you could throw in your 2 cents to the psychiatrist.

    Do what you can to take care of yourself -- it's as much a survival skill as anything.
  3. lizanne2

    lizanne2 New Member

    Excellent Rant! Keep Ranting!

    I hope it helps!
  4. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Oh TPaul I so understand. And by the way, it is perfectly fine to rant about your wife, I do that here with my husband as he is BiPolar (BP) too!

    Many of the things you said I have said. I actually read your post last night as I was in the ER with husband as we were worried that his Tegretol and Depokote leveles were too high. They weren't, but I have been thinking of you ever since.

    Ps, if you can manage not to rant and rave at your wife, I want to know how you manage it. I usually go off about once a week on husband when he is cycling, and I am sure that does not help anything at all, just makes it worse but man sometimes there is only so much I can take!
  5. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    Frankly, I think you are a saint!

    I don't know how you manage with 5 children when your wife is in mania.

    My husband is BiPolar (BP) and I can't stand ANY of his moods. I haven't been very understanding lately. I am worn out and very angry at this disease.

    He once had a classmate who had BiPolar (BP). This medication student went out and bought a Cadillac and a luxury boat in one day. All I could think of was his poor wife!
  6. TPaul

    TPaul Idecor8

    A saint be I not, :crazy2:there are som many days that I just do not know if I can take another single day of this STUPID disease. I marvel that I am not bald from pulling my hair out, or completely grey headed instead of just a few greys scattered throughout.


    ( had to make a quick trip to take youngest son to school for tutoring this morning and the others to the bus stop, and you didn't even know I left to do that till I told you, LOL)

    I can surely understand the frustrations of dealing with a spouse who is bipolar just like you said. I try to tell myself that it is just the disease acting, or just the disease yelling, or just the disease making me have to walk on egg shells for days at a time.:mad:

    In some ways getting the bipolar diagnosis helped me because we have had such a hard road since we have gotten married. At least I know that so much of what went on for years was because of the bipolar and that it was not me being such a horrible husband that made my wife so mad and angry all the time, :anxious:, Then again, knowing it was bipolar now, I so wish that maybe we could have had that diagnosis so many years ago. That just maybe things would not have been so rocky and hard. Then again, I am not sure that if I knew that she was Bipolar before I married her if I would have. If I had not I would not have the 5 beautiful little ones I have now. They are what keeps me going and hanging on so many of my days. It is for them that I plod on each and every day. To try to make things better for them, to make them always feel loved and to grow into wonderful adults. That is what keeps me trying to stay sane holding on to my family with a death grip.

    Thanks again all of listening
    T. Paul
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    T.Paul, great rant. I read every word of it. I feel for you.
    I especially like your recent post, thinking about how you wouldn't have these 5 wonderful kids if you hand't married your wife.
    What a load you have.
    What an amazing guy.
    I hope you get to do something nice for yourself today.
    And I think your wife's medications need tweaking. She shouldn't be going through this, on that many medications. Something's not right.
  8. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    TPaul, it does sound like wife's medications are out of whack. Properly medicated, she shouldn't be experiencing this type of classical mania.

    I have BiPolar (BP) and I do know how hard it is to keep on top of keeping house, etc. The slightest task seems to be gargantuan and you just can't stay focused enough to complete anything.