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Re: Swift kick in the rear
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 630627" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>JKF, I went to the day shelter today where difficult child goes sometimes to drop off some shirts for him. I talked with Heather, the social worker there. The room was filled with people, mostly men of all ages, who were sitting in chairs, some slumped over sleeping, some just sitting (maybe waiting for something), many with filled black trash bags or backpacks. There were a few women. Nearly all of the older people looked like they have lived very hard lives by the lines on their faces and their expressions. </p><p></p><p>difficult child wasn't there. I haven't heard from him since yesterday when he was texting me about the shirts, and I decided to just drop them off and leave them with Heather, and not to try to meet him there. </p><p></p><p>Heather said he had been there today for lunch but hasn't been there much this week. She was thinking he is trying to stay away from the usual crowd there. I told her about my interactions with him this week and that as the days tick by, and there has been no definitive change (that I can see) that I am thinking same old, same old.</p><p></p><p>She listened empathetically. She said she had offered to write him a letter to the rehab place. I asked her if it was likely he had a job interview at a recycling place, like he said, and she said yes, a lot of their people get jobs there. </p><p></p><p>I told her about him telling me his friend panhandled one day this week, got $70, and they got a hotel room. I told her he said, I can't stoop to panhandling, but that his voice was excited about the amount of money and I am thinking that he may be stooping already himself. </p><p></p><p>We confirmed that there is nothing I can do. </p><p></p><p>She said, you are doing all of the right things, by staying away, but being encouraging and letting him do whatever he is going to do. </p><p></p><p>She said I know it's really hard on you but you have to take care of yourself. </p><p></p><p>You and I both heard it again today, JKF, and it has reinforced us once again. We <u><strong>need</strong></u> reinforcement, friends, this road is way, way too hard without it. </p><p></p><p>The professionals---those trained in this field---are confirming that stopping enabling, detaching with love, and accepting what is, is the best path for all. Not just us. For them too. It is good to keep on hearing it. </p><p></p><p>Also, talking to people who know our difficult children just to assure ourselves that there IS help out there IF they want to ask for it, is good. We know it already, but it's good to hear it over and over again. </p><p></p><p>Thanks for posting JKF. It helps to hear it many, many times.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 630627, member: 17542"] JKF, I went to the day shelter today where difficult child goes sometimes to drop off some shirts for him. I talked with Heather, the social worker there. The room was filled with people, mostly men of all ages, who were sitting in chairs, some slumped over sleeping, some just sitting (maybe waiting for something), many with filled black trash bags or backpacks. There were a few women. Nearly all of the older people looked like they have lived very hard lives by the lines on their faces and their expressions. difficult child wasn't there. I haven't heard from him since yesterday when he was texting me about the shirts, and I decided to just drop them off and leave them with Heather, and not to try to meet him there. Heather said he had been there today for lunch but hasn't been there much this week. She was thinking he is trying to stay away from the usual crowd there. I told her about my interactions with him this week and that as the days tick by, and there has been no definitive change (that I can see) that I am thinking same old, same old. She listened empathetically. She said she had offered to write him a letter to the rehab place. I asked her if it was likely he had a job interview at a recycling place, like he said, and she said yes, a lot of their people get jobs there. I told her about him telling me his friend panhandled one day this week, got $70, and they got a hotel room. I told her he said, I can't stoop to panhandling, but that his voice was excited about the amount of money and I am thinking that he may be stooping already himself. We confirmed that there is nothing I can do. She said, you are doing all of the right things, by staying away, but being encouraging and letting him do whatever he is going to do. She said I know it's really hard on you but you have to take care of yourself. You and I both heard it again today, JKF, and it has reinforced us once again. We [U][B]need[/B][/U] reinforcement, friends, this road is way, way too hard without it. The professionals---those trained in this field---are confirming that stopping enabling, detaching with love, and accepting what is, is the best path for all. Not just us. For them too. It is good to keep on hearing it. Also, talking to people who know our difficult children just to assure ourselves that there IS help out there IF they want to ask for it, is good. We know it already, but it's good to hear it over and over again. Thanks for posting JKF. It helps to hear it many, many times. [/QUOTE]
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Re: Swift kick in the rear
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