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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 633181" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>DSTC---I am sorry. I remember your post about the camping trip and here you are again.</p><p></p><p>You are walking through the forest right now. You are giving your daughter lots of chances to shape up and as you are giving her those changes, you are getting more and more and more tired of her lack of response.</p><p></p><p>You're getting there. You are getting to: completely sick and tired. </p><p></p><p>And that is when things start to change. When WE are completely sick and tired of their chaos and unacceptable behavior.</p><p></p><p>That is a very good day, DSTC. A very good day for us.</p><p></p><p>I'm sure you have set a lot of rules before and done a lot of talking and reasoning and explaining and tried consequences and all of the normal stuff. Your signature says she is ODD. I have read a lot about that, as I have thought my difficult child surely must have ODD due to his completely counter-common-sense behavior.</p><p></p><p>Who knows? All I know at this point is I almost don't care what your diagnosis is. We all have problems. We all struggle. If you have a diagnosis and you don't want to get help and then you don't want to take the help, and your behavior is out of control and disruptive to everybody around you, then...well...you can't stay here. </p><p></p><p>I got there inch by inch, DSTC. And I really mean inch by inch.</p><p></p><p>Today my difficult child is 25. Evidently he is on Day Two of his new job at McDonald's. He called me late yesterday afternoon from an unknown cell phone to say this: I worked all day today, Mom. It felt good to work again. I got up at 4 a.m. to ride the bike to work so I could be there at 6 a.m. The shirts they gave me got stolen so I had to call the new supervisor and tell her that. I hated to call her because I know that is the worst possible first impression. I tried to do everything else before I called her, like borrow a shirt. But I couldn't so I called her and she was really nice. She said things happen. She said she would meet me with some more shirts and name tag. I'm really tired now and I have to go to probation now and call the other probation about my appointment there tomorrow. </p><p></p><p>I said: Sounds good, honey. I am proud of you. Have a good day tomorrow.</p><p></p><p>DSTC, I don't know where he is staying. I have no idea how to get in touch with him. Evidently he and the new girlfriend are already broken up. I have no idea if he will go to work again today or has gone or not. I don't know what he is eating and where he is sleeping. I don't know if he is using drugs or drinking or smoking or anything.</p><p></p><p>And you know what? I don't need to know any of that. Today, I don't. I was glad to hear from him and that conversation had a very positive tone to it---for me. </p><p></p><p>He does sound different but who knows? I mean, I'm sure he doesn't even really know.</p><p></p><p>I am going to do all I can today not to interfere or involve myself with him. In fact, I hope he doesn't call me again for a few days. </p><p></p><p>He must walk his own path. That is the only way he has a prayer to become an adult. I am just praying for him---that he can continue walking forward---and for me, that I can continue walking forward. That is really all there is.</p><p></p><p>Warm hugs. Hang in there. Decide what you will and won't live with, just for today. You can always change your mind. Take care of YOU. You matter too. In fact, you are 1 percent more important than she is. Claim it. You deserve peace and respect and good things. Work toward them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 633181, member: 17542"] DSTC---I am sorry. I remember your post about the camping trip and here you are again. You are walking through the forest right now. You are giving your daughter lots of chances to shape up and as you are giving her those changes, you are getting more and more and more tired of her lack of response. You're getting there. You are getting to: completely sick and tired. And that is when things start to change. When WE are completely sick and tired of their chaos and unacceptable behavior. That is a very good day, DSTC. A very good day for us. I'm sure you have set a lot of rules before and done a lot of talking and reasoning and explaining and tried consequences and all of the normal stuff. Your signature says she is ODD. I have read a lot about that, as I have thought my difficult child surely must have ODD due to his completely counter-common-sense behavior. Who knows? All I know at this point is I almost don't care what your diagnosis is. We all have problems. We all struggle. If you have a diagnosis and you don't want to get help and then you don't want to take the help, and your behavior is out of control and disruptive to everybody around you, then...well...you can't stay here. I got there inch by inch, DSTC. And I really mean inch by inch. Today my difficult child is 25. Evidently he is on Day Two of his new job at McDonald's. He called me late yesterday afternoon from an unknown cell phone to say this: I worked all day today, Mom. It felt good to work again. I got up at 4 a.m. to ride the bike to work so I could be there at 6 a.m. The shirts they gave me got stolen so I had to call the new supervisor and tell her that. I hated to call her because I know that is the worst possible first impression. I tried to do everything else before I called her, like borrow a shirt. But I couldn't so I called her and she was really nice. She said things happen. She said she would meet me with some more shirts and name tag. I'm really tired now and I have to go to probation now and call the other probation about my appointment there tomorrow. I said: Sounds good, honey. I am proud of you. Have a good day tomorrow. DSTC, I don't know where he is staying. I have no idea how to get in touch with him. Evidently he and the new girlfriend are already broken up. I have no idea if he will go to work again today or has gone or not. I don't know what he is eating and where he is sleeping. I don't know if he is using drugs or drinking or smoking or anything. And you know what? I don't need to know any of that. Today, I don't. I was glad to hear from him and that conversation had a very positive tone to it---for me. He does sound different but who knows? I mean, I'm sure he doesn't even really know. I am going to do all I can today not to interfere or involve myself with him. In fact, I hope he doesn't call me again for a few days. He must walk his own path. That is the only way he has a prayer to become an adult. I am just praying for him---that he can continue walking forward---and for me, that I can continue walking forward. That is really all there is. Warm hugs. Hang in there. Decide what you will and won't live with, just for today. You can always change your mind. Take care of YOU. You matter too. In fact, you are 1 percent more important than she is. Claim it. You deserve peace and respect and good things. Work toward them. [/QUOTE]
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