Ready To Cry

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by STRESSEDTOMAX, Feb 14, 2013.



    I am in a VERY bad place right now. Our house is the worst it's ever been...and that's saying a lot. difficult child is almost never using a speaking voice - he is ALWAYS screaming. And when he doesn't get his way, the screaming and the meltdowns happen ALL THE TIME now. I have no more psychiatrist any more because we missed too many appointments - most due to difficult child refusing to go or me forgetting dates. So, I've spent two days now trying to find a new psychiatrist and nobody takes our insurance because it's basically a step above Medicaid. My child needs help and I can't get it. I am going over the edge.

    To add to this, months ago my son (easy child, 26) was trying to "coach" difficult child and difficult child wound up asking this girl Michelle to be his girlfriend. He is SO not ready for that - he did it because easy child told him to - which INFURIATED me. So this girl comes over to our house last week and sees how immature difficult child really is -and the next day she is "breaking up with him" and telling everyone he acts like a four year old. It breaks my heart. Then, yesterday, two kids pass him notes saying they're not his friends anymore and listed the names of kids who don't like him. Of course, one of the girls was Michelle. I took him home after half a day yesterday because right in front of me, the teacher said to difficult child "I'm not playing these games with you today,Thomas" because he said he didn't want to go in with those kids again. Today, he is at school only because there's a Valentines Day Dance and he's going with his friend who has CP and is in a wheelchair and he didn't want to disappoint her. That's my son. He has a heart of gold and I don't know how to help him. I NEED to find a doctor ASAP.

    OK...I'm crying...going to make myself a cup of tea...
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    If I was closer, I'd come knock the teacher upside the head.
    They just do NOT understand the combination of bullying and kids with social challenges... so they make it WORSE.
    been there done that. No easy answers...

  3. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I'm really sending you all the compassion and comforting energy I can. I hate that he's so vulnerable and is being bullied. The teacher sounds heartless.

    My house is in disarray too...and I'm forcing myself to vacuum and do dishes because when the house is bad it starts a cycle. Q is always worse. I feel crabby, we argue, I hide away and avoid chores etc. I don't want it to get so out of hand I can't have people over, not that I do but I can.

    The house is a reflection of how I feel, always worse in winter, and it also makes things worse. If I get half of one job done I know I'll feel better.
  4. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    I am sending some gentle hugs your way. My house is less than presentable right now as well. And, I have not had the energy to do anything about it. I am hoping that you can find a psychiatrist to help. And we have been there done that with the bullying as well. I hope after you drink your tea you are feeling a little better.
  5. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    I know exactly how you feel today. (((Hugs))) for you. Believe me, I know how hard it can be. I hope you are able to find a psychiatrist who can help your son.
  6. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Oh let's not talk about the state of houses :)
    I really feel for you, Stressed. And this too shall pass but for now, your son is in a vulnerable place, and you along with him of course. How kind of your son... and how unkind of the teacher.
    You will get help... it will be better. For now, try as much as you can to contain your anxiety and upset (difficult children feed off that, don't they?) and find whatever ways you can not to get to the painful place with him... I am sometimes expert in that also :)
    Hugs. Here's to a brighter day.
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Ohhh, that's so sad! Kids can be so mean!

    I completely understand the loud voice yelling thing. Arrgh! That wears me out, no matter what the actual words are.

    I would make an appointment with-the teacher. Not now, of course; you need to drink your tea and take a nap. But in the near future. She needs to get onboard.

    I hope that tomorrow is better.
  8. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    That's so lovely he's taking his friend to the dance. Tell him we're all proud of him for doing that! That's a very courageous, gentlemanly, and grown-up thing to do, and ANYONE (I'm looking at those other schoolkids who make snide remarks here) who say otherwise are the immature ones and can go ^&*% themselves.


    Frankly, if it wasn't for my boyfriend, my apartment would be a wreck, too. He does most of the cleaning around here, because just dealing with Storm wears me out. Then looking at what needs to be done makes me even more tired. *sigh*
  9. If it helps any... It's still Christmas at my house! The storage box is stuck in the garage which my husband needs to lift the door to free because the spring broke right after New Years. I have no idea how he can ignore a giant tree standing in our living room for over two months!
  10. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    Two, months? It's become part of the scenery to him.
  11. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

  12. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

  13. greenrene

    greenrene Member

    Big hugs - I feel your pain.

    Back when difficult child lived with us, I too had a hard time functioning. My house was almost always a wreck. It's good to know that I'm not the only one.
  14. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    I think a messy house and yelling just come with difficult children.
  15. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    "If a messy desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is a clean desk the sign of?"

    Goes for houses, too.
  16. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Gentle hugs being sent your way.
  17. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sending big hugs.
  18. Jamieh

    Jamieh New Member

    I am sorry hun! I Know that has to be rough! (((Hugs))) and I'd be pretty upset over the teacher too. ugh. Kids can be so cruel.
  19. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Where are you in NC? If you PM with the location I can probably help you out. I have worked with the mental health system in this state for the last 22 years of my life and have a ton of experience. Now as far as cleaning the house, Im not a big help except to say if you have just a little bit of extra cash, check craigslist. I have found some really nice house cleaners on there who will come help you for really decent prices. I cant manage the money right now but I found a woman on there who would come help me for about 7 bucks an hour and my house is a pig sty. Honestly I would have probably kept her on for a few more weeks but I think she got tired of helping me and spent an entire day cleaning my kitchen when it wasnt that bad. She didnt even do that much to it. I might have been more impressed if she actually took all the appliances off one counter and cleaned that counter off and washed the curtains but she didnt.

    However there are some good ones on there for good prices. Just check them out. Invite them out and let them look at your house and ask them what price they would charge.

    However, I do think I could help you with mental health.