I went away to visit relatives in Canada for five days and was shocked when I came back. After not seeing difficult child for several days it struck me forcibly how much his mental function has deteriorated on medications. He now has virtually no short-term memory; he loses things, forgets what we've told him, forgets whether he took his medications two hours ago. His IQ seems to have dropped about 50 points. I can't see how he can even hold the Mickey D's job he just landed, he's so cognitively disabled. He seems to be headed straight for permanent disability. This started after he went on medications this summer and has worsened to the point, now, where I'd rather see him medications-free and deal with whatever happens than watch him like this. It's like the second half of the book Flowers for Algernon, where the protagonist slowly descends into mental retardation while being fully aware of what's happening. A good friend of mine who's bipolar emailed me about difficult child, and his comments were: psychiatric medications s***. psychiatric medications s***. psychiatric medications s***. I have to agree. I just can't watch my son become an obese blob with no volition, no initiative, no personality. He was off medications for five years through his teens, and while there were substance abuse issues, he didn't have unmanageable mood swings and he was intelligent, motivated, and could do meticulous work as a finish carpenter/cabinetmaker. On antidepressants alone, he's ugly. With a mood stabilizer added, he's a zombie. I think we're going to support him in weaning off his remaining antidepressant and then, slowly, the Geodon. I just can't stand seeing him this way. Once he's off medications, if he won't live within our rules so be it, he'll have to leave, but at least he'll have his mind intact.