reality hit the proverbial fan 2night.


Mom? What's a difficult child?
Oh hun... I was about to shut down the computer... i saw your post. I am so sorry. I am glad he is at least away from you guy's tonight, and your Mom is with you.
I hope you all can get some *help* especially husband...
Please try to get some rest and not worry too much... I hope the boys are doing OK. How scary.


Well-Known Member
I am so sorry -HUGS!

Whatever he says to you, just say HE was drunk, not you. I guess he would remember if you instigated him if he was sober, huh?

I am sorry for what you have to go through, but you have been holding off for HIS sake. No longer do you need to protect or worry about his feelings. Now it is you and the kids.


Well-Known Member
(((hugs)))I'm sorry you and the kids have to live like this. Use this week to get all your ducks in a row, see a lawyer, get a restraining order, whatever you have to do. There may even be some local organization that can help you. -Alyssa


Active Member
First of all I am so, so sorry. How traumatic this must all have been for all of you. My heart just aches.

Second, I am still really worried about you and your safety. What are your plans? You are going to press charges against him, right? Are you going to get a restraining order, and call the whole marriage quits? Or are you going to let him do a one week stint in rehab, and take it from there? How many times has he been violent with difficult child 1, twice now, right?

I guess I am just worried about you getting anywhere near him ever again. Usually once physical abuse starts, it never stops, but instead it gets worse. Please call a local domestic abuse line, so that they can give you more information on this sort of thing -and please, please take care of yourself. I am sending you big strong hugs - and know that your cyber family cares about you.


Active Member
Oh sweetie, this must be so horrible.........I am so sorry. I wish there was something I could do for you from afar.

I am glad that DYFS (not sure who that is) is helping you with all of this. I hope you do press charges for difficult child 1's sake. He needs to feel like someone is looking out for him in all of this. I also hope you press charges for your sake as need to feel emboldened too. You do know you can file a restraining order for free through a safe house or the DA? And that if you don't, you can count on him showing up and harassing you big time. Unfortunately that is inevitable with situations like this.

Again, I am so sorry it had to come to this. You husband sounds like a very sick man, that needs a lot more than a week of rehab.

I am so sorry you are hurting and grieving. I am VERY glad that it was no worse than it was.

I had an incident in my youth when I blacked out. I was brought to a hospital to dry out. I punched a nurse and broke her nose, puked all over myself, and woke up in restraints.

My BAC was 1.4, HALF of what your husband's was. I remember what that felt like. It is a wonder that the man is alive.

As much as it hurts, and as hard as it will be, you are doing the right thing. Get yourself to an Al-Anon meeting. It will help immensely.

Big hugs. I will remember your husband at my AA meeting tonight, when we pray for the alcoholic that still suffers.


Active Member
First I wanted to say,I am so sorry you and your children had to experience this. I do agree with pressing charges on your difficult child's behalf. This must of been horrifying. Alcoholism is so devastating.

I also agree with getting to an Al-anon meeting. I'm sure it would do you good.

You and your children's hearts must be broken.



Well-Known Member
Oh, dear.
I, too, worry about your safety. husband is over the top. He cannot be near you any more. Ever. Period.
Sorry about the cop. That's what they do, so don't take it personally.


New Member
Oh, I am so sorry. You must have been so scared. You sound really strong, You know we are all here supporting you. Please know that I am thinking about you because our situations are very simliar, although my d/h stopped drinking 2 yrs. ago.
You are stronger than you think and you will do what you have to for your boys!


Thank you all for your kind words, I am hating myself for wondering how he is and worrying what he'll do, I know I should not care, I know I need to detach, he killed any love I had for him so why is it so hard? difficult child I still is as happy as a pea that he's gone while difficult child II keeps asking when he's coming home, and I am not ready to go there yet with him , although I know I need to tell him soon. D/H was served with restraining order last night in the lock down unit, I am sure that went over well. Meanwhile my Mother was here today explaining how the next 5 years of my life is going to go, can we say "hyper ventilating"???


Well-Known Member
I'm sorry...

I hope that if he is still in the hospital that you will tell them that he is calling and threatening, and tell them to remove the phone from his room. That's just not right!


Active Member
Yikes...........nothing like your mom telling you how to live your life - AGAIN! Don't they lose that card when we move out? Ohhhhh, I hate that!
In the past when my mom has gotten involved in my life drama, (which I try to avoid at all costs), I have to just firmly, but nicely, tell my mom to back the flip away from me because I cannot figure out my problems with her interjecting her ideas every bloody 2 minutes. It is too hard to think and solve huge life issues when you have someone bleeping their solutions in your ear, like a broken car alarm!

Anyway......I feel for you. Tell mom to take care of the kids, and leave the rest to you.
And I am so glad you followed through on the restraining order! That should make you feel better.

take care, and stay strong.


New Member
Im so sorry you're going through this.

Not sure this helps, but typically when a police officer is taking a statement, they only want answers to their questions, because if you give more info, it has to be part of the report. The PO may not have wanted the info about DYFS because he wanted the report to only reflect that nights mess. He may have been trying to protect you and your kids by leaving the rest of it off.

I hope your mom just helps watch the kids and stays out of the rest. I know how hard it is when you're getting opinions from everyone about how you should run your life. I'm glad you got the restraining order.

I'm praying and rattling beads for a quick solution to it all.