Realizing how far we have come

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by JJJ, Mar 28, 2009.

  1. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I found this board in 2001 when Eeyore was diagnosis with Conduct Disorder at the ripe old age of 7. The psychiatrist and our adoption agency were both recommending that we dissolve the adoption (it had been final for over a year at that point). We had locked up knives, made him a zombie on Paxil - against our better judgment with the threat of CPS involvement. Piglet still wasn't talking to anyone outside the home. Tigger was an uncontrollable ball of energy. And Kanga was our "good" child.

    Thanks to the wonderful women and men of this board, we have made it through almost 8 years. We have survived many crisis, IEP meetings and hospital stays.

    Tigger has shown huge gains. Just today at church school, he asked to be excused from the assembly when it got to loud and later when he started to have a conflict with a few boys, he asked me to take him to the hallway and help him figure out why he was having trouble playing with the boys. Then he went back in and apologized to the boys and asked if they could start over -- they did and played nicely for the rest of the time.

    Piglet is a chatterbox. She is in regular ed classes (on a 504) and competing at the highest level of her chosen sport (just qualified for the National championships). She has many good friends.

    Eeyore is in reg ed with resource support. He consistently goes to adults for help when in the past he would rage. He hugs us and says he doesn't want to grow up yet cause he needs more time being our kid.

    Kanga went down hill fast and hard. It was thanks to our "board family" that I learned how to advocate for her and she is now in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and finally working with a therapist on her past abuse issues and current problems.

    I always seem to post when our lives are in crisis. Several good things happened today that made me reflect on how far we have come and so much of it is due to the support and love of all of you. Thank you.
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    What a nice report!! I am truly happy for you and it gives me a lot of much needed hope. It is amazing how the board and listening to our mommy gut can really turn things around with a little perserverance, hard work, and hope. Ok- a LOT, not a little, but still, it's so nice when you can see how effective it is and how far the kids have come.

    Congratulations!! And thanks for posting this!
  3. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    God bless you JJJ for being willing to put your love into these children. Because of people like you, I will always have hope for humanity. It's amazing that you do all of this because you want to, not because you have to.
  4. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Ok, JJJ! What flight should I send difficult child 1 on and how long do you think it will take you to fix him (I need to know how many peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to send!).

    I'm jealous. God am I jealous!

    Seriously, I'm so happy to see that "silver lining" for you!

  5. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Great idea, nvts- why didn't I think of that? NOW I can tell the courts I have the perfect person to send my son to!!
  6. Steely

    Steely Active Member


    Your post made me really smile........I agree, we all need time to reflect on the gains and progress that has been made. I am so happy for you and your family - and so inspired by your tenacity and fortitude to never give up.

    It is days like today - when we can look at the baby steps they have taken - and realize those baby steps equal miles.
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2009
  7. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Well done!
  8. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I often think when we live in the day to day struggle dealing the difficult child behavior of our children---because I personally don't think a difficult child can ever be a easy child---we do forget how far they've come. I've watched over the years your struggle to be warrior mom and do what needed to be done to insure that all the Poohkids become all they can be...and you deserve so many kudos for getting to this point. While the current daily struggles seem so overwhelming, in hindsight they are really so minute.
  9. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm humbled by your post.

    Miracles can and do happen. I needed to be reminded of that. Thank you.
  10. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    What a WONDERFUL update!!! Even though Kanga is still struggling, I have faith that she will find some measure of peace at some point.

    Your children have all made great strides, and I have every confidence that you will be able to help and guide them through any challenges that come their way. I am glad that you did not let the state talk you into "giving them back". I shudder to think how much worse their lives, and yours, would be if you had.

    Through all the years and challenges, you have never failed to offer hope, knowledge, support and inspiration to me. Thank you for that. I know there are times when each of us can only ask for support, but you have never failed to be there for the rest of us whenever you could help.

    I must have missed something though. What sport does Piglet play? Whatever it is, make sure she knows that we are cheering for her at every game/meet/competition!!!! I know she won something big just recently, but I can't for the life of me remember the sport.

    Make sure the other kids know we are cheering for them all the time too!

    I think that Eeyore probably gave you the BIGGEST award ANY 13yo could EVER give a parent - wanting to spend more years as YOUR kid!!! That is just HUGE!!! Ginormous even.

    I am smiling from ear to ear for you. Thanks for sharing.
  11. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Triple J,

    Thanks for sharing this ~ we so need to remember the positives with our difficult children because we get so bogged down in the advocacy, the day to day appts & the many crisis's that occur.

    Personally I need to start recording now the strides that kt & wm have made.

    You are one extraordinary :warrior:

    I'm truly humbled.
  12. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    JJJ - This brought a smile to my face. Thank you for sharing.

    Kanga is often in my thoughts.

  13. JJJ,

    I also want to thank you for sharing. You have given us all hope and perspective. Where would the Pooh kids be without you? You are simply amazing!

  14. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    This brought tears to my eyes. What a wonderful post-you are truly an amazing warrior mom! You are an incredible advocate for your children! Thanks for sharing this.
  15. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member


    I have been here now since Feb 1999, and I have seen many of the difficult child's grow up before my eyes. It is always inspiring to me to watch how hard the parents on this site work for their kids. People here amaze me. I laugh with you guys when times are funny and cry when times are the worst. I am always keeping everyone in my heart. There is never a day that this board and all its members isnt right there with me. I cant wait to see the strides that all the kids make. My greatest wish is that one day we only have to use the Watercooler to talk to each other.

    Congrats on how far your little Pooh family has come. May they all continue to grow and prosper.
  16. Thank you so much for sharing! This is truly awesome.
  17. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    JJJ, thanks for posting this. You've brought happy tears to my eyes.
    How wonderful!
  18. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    That is wonderful!!!!!
    I am awed by your perseverence and fortitude, not to mention the love you have and show.
    I am glad that this bb has been a help. As anyone can see from the # of posts I have, it has been a huge plus for me, too!
    Even my husband doesn't understand like you all do.

    Keep up the good work!