My previous post was that difficult child has moved in with his girlfriends aunt. She's a recovering addict, 10 years clean now, and is willing to give him a chance. Last night was his first night there, and there was already an altercation. difficult child had not seen his girlfriend much in the past 3 weeks. Matter if fact, only once. She wouldn't go around the friends he was hanging out with. So, she picked him up yesterday and took him to her aunts. The first thing he wanted to do when they got there was have sex. Are you freaking kidding me???? Here he is with a brand new start, in her aunts house (and yes, the aunt was there), and that's the first thing on his mind?? Amazes me!!!! The girlfriend got mad, and left. Well, she told her aunt before she left what happened, and the aunt was livid. She read difficult child the riot act. And actually told him to leave. He freaked out. He didn't want to go back to living with his friends that use drugs. She said he literally walked in her bedroom just bawling, got on his hands and knees, and begged her to let him stay. She told me it was the most heart wrenching thing she's seen in a while, and there was no way she could make him leave. She really believes he doesn't want to go back to his old environment. She also said the scene took her back to the day when everybody else had given up on her, and her last resort (in her mind) was to go live in a crack house. All of this breaks her heart. But she said she's going to do her best at keeping him on the right track.
I learned all of this when difficult child called me and all he kept saying was "I'll have to call you back". He was crying and I could hear her in the background yelling at him. He hung up, and I couldn't get back in touch with him for a while. He finally called back and told me everything was fine, but could I please bring him something to eat. He said he didn't feel comfortable eating their food yet. So, as bad as I felt (I have the flu) I went and got him some dinner and took it by there. He came out to the car, and started crying again, as he walked away. I followed him, and went inside to talk to her. We talked for a good while, and we're on the same page about everything. I really feel like he's at a safe place. She's divorced and has a 9 year old...so she will not put up with any of his antics. He's got a nice bedroom with a place to lay his head every night. He's got someone that has been in his shoes, that wants to see him live a better life. I did tell her that I would give her money to help with food and whatever else. They are taking him today to get a hair cut. Thank goodness!!! My handsome son was really starting to not look like himself. It's been a month since the aunt had seen him, and she said the same thing. She hardly recognized him.
Before I left, I made sure he was still taking his medicine (antibiotics), and gave him a little pep talk. He seemed so depressed. Didn't say much back to me. He had told his girlfriend earlier that day that he just wants to die. I can handle a lot. I've learned to. But hearing that brings me to immediate tears and makes me want to go get him and give him one more chance here. I know he's feeling so awkward over there. I feel like he really wants away from the drugs. And I feel like, as his mother, I should be the one to help him. He seems so lost, so depressed...and I'm wanting to fix it. Because that's what we parents think we can do...when we really can't. Gosh, this is tough. Heavy heart today.
On a last note, have I mentioned that his father lives 4 miles from me, and is sitting in his house, remarried, raising his 2 kids, with no worries in the world about his son? That alone kills me. How can any parent not care? I actually blame him for a few of difficult child's problems. I firmly believe that every young boy needs their father to be an active role model in their lives, and my difficult child has never had that. I can't imagine living my life knowing that my father simply doesn't care.
Off to read some more self help books and nurse this flu. I hope everybody has a blessed day. I'm going to count my blessings, because I know I do have plenty of them. Although hard to see right now.
I learned all of this when difficult child called me and all he kept saying was "I'll have to call you back". He was crying and I could hear her in the background yelling at him. He hung up, and I couldn't get back in touch with him for a while. He finally called back and told me everything was fine, but could I please bring him something to eat. He said he didn't feel comfortable eating their food yet. So, as bad as I felt (I have the flu) I went and got him some dinner and took it by there. He came out to the car, and started crying again, as he walked away. I followed him, and went inside to talk to her. We talked for a good while, and we're on the same page about everything. I really feel like he's at a safe place. She's divorced and has a 9 year old...so she will not put up with any of his antics. He's got a nice bedroom with a place to lay his head every night. He's got someone that has been in his shoes, that wants to see him live a better life. I did tell her that I would give her money to help with food and whatever else. They are taking him today to get a hair cut. Thank goodness!!! My handsome son was really starting to not look like himself. It's been a month since the aunt had seen him, and she said the same thing. She hardly recognized him.
Before I left, I made sure he was still taking his medicine (antibiotics), and gave him a little pep talk. He seemed so depressed. Didn't say much back to me. He had told his girlfriend earlier that day that he just wants to die. I can handle a lot. I've learned to. But hearing that brings me to immediate tears and makes me want to go get him and give him one more chance here. I know he's feeling so awkward over there. I feel like he really wants away from the drugs. And I feel like, as his mother, I should be the one to help him. He seems so lost, so depressed...and I'm wanting to fix it. Because that's what we parents think we can do...when we really can't. Gosh, this is tough. Heavy heart today.
On a last note, have I mentioned that his father lives 4 miles from me, and is sitting in his house, remarried, raising his 2 kids, with no worries in the world about his son? That alone kills me. How can any parent not care? I actually blame him for a few of difficult child's problems. I firmly believe that every young boy needs their father to be an active role model in their lives, and my difficult child has never had that. I can't imagine living my life knowing that my father simply doesn't care.
Off to read some more self help books and nurse this flu. I hope everybody has a blessed day. I'm going to count my blessings, because I know I do have plenty of them. Although hard to see right now.
