difficult child has special needs. As far as we know, he is ADHD/ODD and possible Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), but we haven't had him tested for that yet. He is taking medications which have helped him tremendously with his behaviors, but there are still some things that people don't understand, esp. my IL's. They always blame it on us that we do not expose him to enough things and that we do not parent him the right way and that's why he has issues. I am so tired of it and about ready to explode on them. They have NO idea what having a difficult child is like. I know they can sympathize, but they don't empathize with us and the struggles that we have as parents with our difficult child. They do not realize that our difficult child takes different parenting than the other easy child's in the family. When we do parenting that works best with our difficult child, they say we are "giving in" or not being harsh enough. Their answer to everything is to "spank him" I will NOT do it. It does NOT work. It escalates things to the point that is beyond control and it solves no problems. I just don't know what to do or say to make them understand that difficult child has special needs and he needs different parenting skills. If they can't get it, I will not be taking him over to their house anymore. I will not subject my difficult child to them as they do nothing but punish him because they feel he can control what he does more than he does.