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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 679304" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Maybe this is his intent, to punish her, and she is going along with it, to punish herself.</p><p></p><p>My sister was like this. She wanted to inflict hurt. And to a point, my mother accepted it, because she felt guilty.</p><p></p><p>It is a dynamic. A sad and tragic one. I hope that your mother can see her way to rise above it.</p><p></p><p>At the end, my sister did a treacherous and horrible thing, a series of them. My mother felt betrayed.</p><p></p><p>I am very glad for myself and for her, that she was able to die with me. I suffered terribly, but at the end of the day I am glad I protected her to the extent that I could.</p><p></p><p>Actually, it means everything to me, that I did so. Although I suffered enormously because of it, for a very long time, I believe I did the right thing for myself. I defined myself in the way I want to be.</p><p></p><p>I believe this is a very important thing to consider. What your best interests are. By that I mean, how do you want to define yourself? How is this about you and how can you act, respond in the way that will make you proud of yourself, now and after your mother is gone.</p><p></p><p>Actually, the way I see it is that we define ourselves for eternity in the way we say goodbye to our people. I know that seems like a kind of foolish way to think, but I think it and feel it nonetheless. Which really is all that matters.</p><p></p><p>It gives me such a sense of peace to know that when it mattered (to me) I defined myself <em>for eternity</em> in the way I want to be. With respect to my mother, and just as importantly to myself.</p><p></p><p>Thank you so much for your thread, Lavender. I have learned so much from it. And I have gotten to know each of you a little bit better, too.</p><p></p><p>Thank you.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 679304, member: 18958"] Maybe this is his intent, to punish her, and she is going along with it, to punish herself. My sister was like this. She wanted to inflict hurt. And to a point, my mother accepted it, because she felt guilty. It is a dynamic. A sad and tragic one. I hope that your mother can see her way to rise above it. At the end, my sister did a treacherous and horrible thing, a series of them. My mother felt betrayed. I am very glad for myself and for her, that she was able to die with me. I suffered terribly, but at the end of the day I am glad I protected her to the extent that I could. Actually, it means everything to me, that I did so. Although I suffered enormously because of it, for a very long time, I believe I did the right thing for myself. I defined myself in the way I want to be. I believe this is a very important thing to consider. What your best interests are. By that I mean, how do you want to define yourself? How is this about you and how can you act, respond in the way that will make you proud of yourself, now and after your mother is gone. Actually, the way I see it is that we define ourselves for eternity in the way we say goodbye to our people. I know that seems like a kind of foolish way to think, but I think it and feel it nonetheless. Which really is all that matters. It gives me such a sense of peace to know that when it mattered (to me) I defined myself [I]for eternity[/I] in the way I want to be. With respect to my mother, and just as importantly to myself. Thank you so much for your thread, Lavender. I have learned so much from it. And I have gotten to know each of you a little bit better, too. Thank you. COPA [/QUOTE]
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