Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by GwenM, Mar 1, 2012.

  1. GwenM

    GwenM New Member

    The meeting with the PO took all of ten minutes this morning. He asked if his behavior had improved. I said no, and he gave difficult child a court date. That part of the day did not bother or surprise me. What threw me for a loop was the fact that the therapist thinks that instead of residential treatment, difficult child should be temporarily placed in foster care until we can get a handle on the situation and find a way to keep all of us safe from him. husband has reached his boiling point, and requested an immediate meeting with the psychiatrist to get her to step in. I personally think it is time for a new therapist. Hopefully when we meet with the psychiatrist Tuesday we can get something done about it.
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Yeah, sounds like they are thinking in terms of it being a family system know, could be that difficult child would be "superficially charming" in foster car or residential and make you all seem like you all are crazy (ask some here how that goes...) OR they would get data that would show that he has such difficult problems that no home can handle it.... so they might then see how he needs more intensive therapeutic placement.... HMMM??? Yeah, hope the psychiatrist is better than therapist and can give them a clue. What is your dream intervention??

    (if this is an attachment disorder, they may not get it unless you find an expert in this... every book says that typically therapists and doctors ---and social workers too.... can do more harm because everyone becomes polarized by these radishes (Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids) who are so good at fooling others by being manipulative and sweet around them. They know how to play people. It takes someone who gets that THAT is a symptom to really help them to make progress. The experts say these folks who dont understand often are not only not effective but do more damage because they further increase the divide. And indeed, some kids with attachment issues do better in settings where they dont have to face the daily grind of being around people that they are expected to trust and attach to, it may just be too hard for them if they are now hard wired not to be able to fully bond)
  3. GwenM

    GwenM New Member

    He is saying it because he is concerned about the saftey of our other children because of things difficult child is doing sexually. Most foster homes have more than one child. What about the safety of those children. His psychiatrist is great. She knows when he is being manipulative, and does not buy into any of it. I really think she would be more help, because it seems like difficult child has the therapist fooled.
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I hear you. I hope you can get the psychiatrist to help out somehow.
  5. keista

    keista New Member

    After spending some time on this board, I don't find the idea so crazy. There are others here who've voluntarily placed their kids in foster care. What you need to make sure of is that it's therapeutic foster care. These aren't just regular foster homes, but ppl with specific training in dealing with difficult children.

    Hopefully someone who has done this or tried to do this will stop by and give you more insight.
  6. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    I'm with Keista--

    I thought it actually sounded like a pretty reasonable plan: Temporary out-of-home placement while the situation is assessed.
  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sending hugs your way. I have not been in your shoes but I have been a GAL for children in foster care and where we live they have trained foster parents for children with specific problems including sexually acting out. Although I understand your preferred placement I "think" exploring that possibility is not unreasonable. Obviously any placement is going to be traumatic for your family but the sooner the other children feel safe again the smaller the chance that they will have lifelong problems as the result of difficult children influence. DDD
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I don'typical teen know what all the specifics are, and I do know that some have placed kids in foster care. PLEASE be aware that therapeutic foster care does NOT mean that the foster parents are trained any more than any of us are. Often they have VERY little actual training but have had basic parenting classes and that certificate of completion is used to designate them as 'therapeutic'. I know some who have had worse results from therapeutic foster parents than reg, and of course that is not to say they didn't try their best. Sadly, being designated as therapeutic foster parents does NOT eman they are equipped to handle a difficult child, esp not one with serious psychiatric problems. In my area there are quite a few who got the therapeutic designation because they were willing to take tough kids and did a class that was 1 hr a week for 5 weeks. Period. that was it.

    So before you put stock into that "therapeutic", make sure you see some qualifications and verify licenses.

    I don't know if Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or another placement is best, but Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is a tough problem and there is no real "best" way to handle it unless you can get to very very skilled Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) experts. I wish I knew where to find those off the top of my head but I don't.
  9. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I think the concern about foster care, is the chance that there would be other children within reach of this particular difficult child and if people are not fully believing that he is a threat sexually, then they won't be sufficiently vigilant.