Recap of the last several weeks

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by ML, Mar 30, 2011.

  1. ML

    ML Guest

    Lots of living, and unfortunately dying too. Stepfather passed away a few weeks ago. The hospice where he spent the last few days of his life was amazing. Mom is doing well, she is a survivor. But you would think that having now buried two husbands from lung issues she would not continue to smoke. Sigh. I wrote a tribute to my stepdad that I read at funeral and everyone said was good, it was about forgiveness and healing. If anyone wants to see it pm me and I'll send it to you.

    On the good side manster was accepted to the school he open enrolled in for MS that is across the street (even through his home school is 5 miles way and would have meant taking the bus). They have a one week adjustment class in June that goes over some basic math, shows them where their lockers are and how to open the combination, stuff like that.

    I'm still off antidepressants and a bit more sensitive than I like but psychiatrist called in something new for me and I've accepted defeat and that I'm likely a lifer.

    Look forward to catching up over time. Right now I'm late for work.

  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    ML- I'm sorry to hear about your stepfather, please accept my condolences. As for smoking... my brother and my aunt are the same way. I've accepted that they will each eventually die from smoking-related diseases.

    And... I think by taking the prescribed RX that you are anything but defeated... you grabbed hold of a lifeline and are getting your life back. I'm proud of you.

    Congrats to Manster on getting the placement he wants (I still have nightmares about forgetting my locker combination, lol!).
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Ditto. DDD
  4. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am sorry for your loss.
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911

    So this explains not answering the WHERE IS ML post!

    My deepest condolences and heartfelt love for the loss your family has gone through. Sending you a big hug and loads of strength. It has to be really tough to watch your Mom continue to smoke. I think right now maybe it is just a stressful time for her - and probably even if she wanted to? You wouldn't see her walking away from them. Tell her this - it's funny and it sticks in peoples minds (swear) Tell her in a few weeks that you love her, and you want her around to see Manster graduate. You know he'd like that too. So you just figure every, single time she picks up a smoke? You are going to say a little prayer that it tastes exactly like a dog turd in her mouth. I know it's nasty, I know it's even foul - but that's the point. You WANT to get that visual/and thought going in her mind. Every time you see her smoke - just say under your breath - Dogturd. Then nothing else. If you're with her when she buys a pack - let out a woof. I had a friend do this for me and I swear to you I couldn't finish one. Every time I lit up? I swear I smelled poop. I had my 10 year smoke free anniversary or maybe 11 on the 23rd of March and don't miss it a bit. I can even afford a new pooper scooper now and then. DF quit. He got tired of my faces, and the smell of himself. No kidding.

    Glad to hear about Mansters progress. It sounds like our little man is becomming a -grown man. (you know if course I'm not ready for that) Is he still riding? I bet he likes this school a lot better. Tell him Auntie Star got her CDL. I'm not out on the road yet - but I'm doing lots of other things to get rid of the house so it's working out.

    I miss you!

    Hugs & Love
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so sorry about your stepdad. I am sure that what you wrote was beautify. I would feel honored if you shared it with me. Star's method may be helpful. Medication for depression may also be helpful. I smoke periodically, never around my family or husband. Oddly when I decide to stop, I just do. I have sometimes gone years with-o thinking of it and then all of a sudden -there it is. A few years ago I finally figured it out. For me it is a giant neon sign that I am depressed. So now I reach for the medications instead. Your mom may have some element of this. It is also NOT a good time for her to stop smoking unless she is just determined to do it. Loss of a spouse is such a huge blow that unless she brings it up or has a health issue in crisis, I would wait about 6-12 months to let her get through the grief an pain a bit.

    Proud of you for accepting the help from medications. It may seem like "defeat" but that is "stinkin' thinkin'" Driving a car isn't accepting defeat that you cannot walk, is it? The car is a TOOL. So are the medications. If you need them for life it is OK. But life is a terribly long time, so while it may seem like you will always need then, and you might, it isn't necessarily the way it really is.

    I am so happy that Manster got into the school he wanted. That can make a giant difference in his life. He really is a sweet kid - you done good, Mom!

    Sending a basket of hugs - reach in and grab one whenever you need to (or want to!) and know that you and yours are in my thought and prayers.
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm so sorry for your loss, ML.

    So glad Manster got into the school you were hoping for.

    I agree you are not defeated just because you are taking an AD. I think it takes a lot to realize when we need them and to be willing to take them. Hugs and it's great to see you back here!!
  8. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    So sorry for your loss. Sounds like you wrote something personal and special.
    Hopefully, something new will help you feel more like yourself. Being a lifer doesn't bother me at all. I'm grateful there is something to help me embrace life and joy.
    Congrats to Manster getting where he wants to be. You are a great advocate for him.
  9. ML

    ML Guest

    Thank you all so much my friends.
  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I'm so sorry for the loss of your stepdad.

    It's nice that manster was able to get into the school he wanted. I so hope it works out for him.

    As for the ADs.......if they allow you to be able to enjoy life the way it should be enjoyed who cares?

    Thanks for the update.