Hi, Stephanie and Welcome! Several members here have had their children placed in different types of places- mine is currently in state detention. But many times help can be received at home so an out-of-home placement isn't necessary. Can you tell us a little more about your child's history and exactly what is going on now?
My son was first diagnosed with ADHD when he was 5-years-old, then the docs have added to that diagnosis, switched it, and everything else since then. They've mentioned biopolar disorder, aspergers, and ODD. I think he's definitely ODD in the extreme. He also has learning disabilities and is socially immature. He has wrecked my house and has hit me in the past. I am a single mother of three children and I need to keep my youngest two children safe (daughter 13, son 11). I am the only adult in the home.
I filed an out-of-control child charge against him and he's been in detention and on probation. The judge told me privately that he didn't think that detention was a good place for my son because he is so immature and easily influenced. My son is also so well-behaved everywhere else - school, church, etc., he is violent and threatening only with me. The judge asked me if I wanted to turn custody of him over to the state, but I didn't want to do that.
difficult child's doctors have helped me recently secure a medical card for him in hopes of getting him placed somewhere.
He's also been in a local psychiatric hospital two times for a month each time.
We receive in-home services for one hour of counseling a week and a small bit of funding that will pay for respite care. He also receives private counseling for one hour a week.
Currently, he's on Abilify and Trileptal, but the docs have tried everything with him. Nothing has helped.
He is in special education at school and his IEP is okay. He has never been a behavior problem at school. His learning disabilities are in reading and math.
When he was younger he was remorseful for his bad behavior, but over the last 6 months it's like someone has removed his remorse "button." Now he doesn't care what he does or says to hurt something or someone. Something in the last 6 months has changed and I can't put my finger on it. I don't feel like my other two children and I are safe anymore. He is verbally, emotionally, and (at times) physically abusive.
It's not an option for my son to live with his father, but his father has agreed to pay for placement/treatment for him if the medical card won't cover it (he has the $$ to be able to do that). Since we only received the medical card a couple of weeks ago - I'm still not sure what type of placement it covers.
Sorry this is long - but I hope that helps explains a little bit about what's going on with my son and our family.
I'm overwhelmed trying to keep everyone safe. I don't even know where to begin to look for a place for him. I hear so many stories about different places - I just don't know what to think. I don't know if a hospital type setting would be better or if a "boys home/boarding school" type setting would be better.
I'm not sure what to do.
Thank you for any help or suggestions.
stephanie