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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 623297" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>BITS.... thinking of you. Great questions....</p><p></p><p>In no particular order..... the best resource for me has been a alanon group for parents. It was a huge help for me to meet other parents who have been through this and are going through this and surviviing. It helped me a lot to get to the place where I am not going to let difficult child ruin my life, not matter what happens. A good therapist has been a great help also.</p><p></p><p>As far as my relationship with husband.... the feeling that we are in this together and then continuing to take time to do things together and to spend time together.</p><p></p><p>I am not a hugely spiritual person.... we do go to a UU church which I really like and that has been a supporitve community and when things have been really bad for some reason that is where I go and fall apart during the service and that has been ok.</p><p></p><p>As far as sleepingi at night. That is hard when things are bad... the worst for me was when my son was homeless in the middle of winter across the country and the only way I knew he was alive was to check phone records.... got tough when he lost his phone! The only thing that got me through sometimes at night was to just repeat the serenity prayer over and over. Realizing I need to accept the things I cannot change was helpful to me.... I think what keeps me awake usually is trying to figure out how to fix things.... and accepting that I could not was helpful.</p><p></p><p>The other thing I have had to do is to just STOP when my thoughts go to the woulda shoulda couldas..... literally when I start to go there which always gets me depressed and upset is to tell myself to stop and think of something else. With practice I am getting better at that.</p><p></p><p>TL</p><p></p><p></p><p>Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 623297, member: 15801"] BITS.... thinking of you. Great questions.... In no particular order..... the best resource for me has been a alanon group for parents. It was a huge help for me to meet other parents who have been through this and are going through this and surviviing. It helped me a lot to get to the place where I am not going to let difficult child ruin my life, not matter what happens. A good therapist has been a great help also. As far as my relationship with husband.... the feeling that we are in this together and then continuing to take time to do things together and to spend time together. I am not a hugely spiritual person.... we do go to a UU church which I really like and that has been a supporitve community and when things have been really bad for some reason that is where I go and fall apart during the service and that has been ok. As far as sleepingi at night. That is hard when things are bad... the worst for me was when my son was homeless in the middle of winter across the country and the only way I knew he was alive was to check phone records.... got tough when he lost his phone! The only thing that got me through sometimes at night was to just repeat the serenity prayer over and over. Realizing I need to accept the things I cannot change was helpful to me.... I think what keeps me awake usually is trying to figure out how to fix things.... and accepting that I could not was helpful. The other thing I have had to do is to just STOP when my thoughts go to the woulda shoulda couldas..... literally when I start to go there which always gets me depressed and upset is to tell myself to stop and think of something else. With practice I am getting better at that. TL Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app [/QUOTE]
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