This is highly topical for us, after yesterday's incident with difficult child 3 getting hit on the head by a log thrown at him.
I actually used toilet paper to clean him up (not second-hand, don't worry!). I wet it and used it to sponge him down, then quickly flipped it into the bowl and dropped the lid back down so he couldn't see it. I got to flush away any evidence.
I've had a series of injections for my current Urinary Tract Infection (UTI), and I'm having to soak a series of undies because of the bloodstains from the injections, every second day. Talk about a pain in the ****!
husband also has to get regular injections - he wears black undies on those days.
And this reminded me of an old story told by British comedian Dave Allen:
Lord Nelson was on the deck of his ship when the cry came out from the crows nest, "Ten enemy ships off the port bough!"
Nelson turned to one of his staff and said, "Please go below and fetch me my red jacket and waistcoat."
His junior officer asked, "Why, at a time like this, do you consider changing your clothes?"
"It is most important," replied the Admiral, "that my men see me as invincible. If I were to be wounded and they saw blood, they might panic and be too afraid to fight. This way if I am shot, the blood won't show."
The junior officer nodded - Nelson was known to be a wise and brave warrior.
Then the cry came back from the crows nest, "It's not ten enemy ships, it's two hundred!"
Nelson leaned through the door to lower decks and called out to his staffer, "... and while you're in my cabin fetching my coat and waistcoat, please bring me my brown corduroy trousers..."
Marg