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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 703508" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Echo. I believe all of this is true and real. But the thing he does not yet get, is that these feelings are meaningless at the end of the day, unless he changes. They are just so much venting.</p><p></p><p>I believe you did exactly the right thing in how you handled everything. The invitation. The openness. The cutting short his emotional outburst. Because, after all, in the absence of any changing, or taking responsibility--that is all it is. A Greek Chorus. He does not yet understand that he is responsibility for the progression of the drama. His life.</p><p>Well, having worked in prisons many years, I see this as a positive. Once again he has the opportunity of another try at a different kind of future.</p><p></p><p>Honestly, Echo, lately I am wondering how I will face my own future, because I judge myself harshly about my present. Doubt in one's self is not, entirely, a bad thing. Nobody really knows how to face his own future because the future is unknowable. Well not entirely. His future the way he was going was pretty much knowable. By his actions he pretty much narrowed the potential outcomes, to one or another. And the best of the two, thank G-d, happened. Which gives him a possibility of a real future, but no guarantee. Like all the rest of us.</p><p></p><p>Did your son have a religious education? Is he spiritually-minded? Even if I was a non-believer (I was) I would urge my own son to go to chapel, and to seek out a spiritual mentor.</p><p></p><p>I have been talking weekly with a spiritual director of my own faith, and it has given me some peace. In some ways it is harder, because like your son, my grief and guilt and regret are torrential. I cry. And I get ashamed. And I feel I will never again feel whole and sure. But I listen to Leonard Cohen and then I have hope. The cracks are where the light gets in. Something like that. From<u> Anthem</u>.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 703508, member: 18958"] Echo. I believe all of this is true and real. But the thing he does not yet get, is that these feelings are meaningless at the end of the day, unless he changes. They are just so much venting. I believe you did exactly the right thing in how you handled everything. The invitation. The openness. The cutting short his emotional outburst. Because, after all, in the absence of any changing, or taking responsibility--that is all it is. A Greek Chorus. He does not yet understand that he is responsibility for the progression of the drama. His life. Well, having worked in prisons many years, I see this as a positive. Once again he has the opportunity of another try at a different kind of future. Honestly, Echo, lately I am wondering how I will face my own future, because I judge myself harshly about my present. Doubt in one's self is not, entirely, a bad thing. Nobody really knows how to face his own future because the future is unknowable. Well not entirely. His future the way he was going was pretty much knowable. By his actions he pretty much narrowed the potential outcomes, to one or another. And the best of the two, thank G-d, happened. Which gives him a possibility of a real future, but no guarantee. Like all the rest of us. Did your son have a religious education? Is he spiritually-minded? Even if I was a non-believer (I was) I would urge my own son to go to chapel, and to seek out a spiritual mentor. I have been talking weekly with a spiritual director of my own faith, and it has given me some peace. In some ways it is harder, because like your son, my grief and guilt and regret are torrential. I cry. And I get ashamed. And I feel I will never again feel whole and sure. But I listen to Leonard Cohen and then I have hope. The cracks are where the light gets in. Something like that. From[U] Anthem[/U]. [/QUOTE]
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