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<blockquote data-quote="Feeling Sad" data-source="post: 713477" data-attributes="member: 19245"><p>Leafy, all of the ideas are great. But, I think that it will come down to your daughter running back to get her kids if you start any proceedings. </p><p></p><p>She wants the cash flow for her drugs and life-style. You want the grands to have a good life. Child Protective Services deems that they are not in "imminent' danger.</p><p></p><p>Your best option, I feel, if you want to help the grands have a better life, is to tell her that you can keep them, but the support will still go to them. </p><p></p><p>You would not be calling anyone. You would keep it status quo. They would then let you probably keep them indefinitely, perhaps off and on in the beginning. Unfortunately, that is your best option. The grands are tied to their habit. Yes, they probably love them, but they are addicts and , thus, love their drugs more.</p><p></p><p>It would cost you more as a widow. But, I would not change things. It is something to think about and it could affect your son. But, you could change those kids around to ones that don't fight with the structure, rules, expectations, and true love that they crave.</p><p></p><p>If you leave it open and let them see or take the grands when they want and still receive the cash flow, then they would feel 'safe' to keep them there longer.</p><p></p><p>Non legal aid for money for clothing and food is out there through churches and programs to help the needy.</p><p></p><p>I would go this route. You have constantly hit a wall the other way. Yes, the other way is the 'right' way, but you would lose and not see the grands.</p><p></p><p>You should not do anything and see how it goes. Discuss it with your son as it nears the end of summer. Check into free counseling. We have Jewish Family Services and Interface in California. They might greatly improve in behavior with structure. Or they might get worse because they miss their parents, even with the chaos, because it is the only life that they know.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Feeling Sad, post: 713477, member: 19245"] Leafy, all of the ideas are great. But, I think that it will come down to your daughter running back to get her kids if you start any proceedings. She wants the cash flow for her drugs and life-style. You want the grands to have a good life. Child Protective Services deems that they are not in "imminent' danger. Your best option, I feel, if you want to help the grands have a better life, is to tell her that you can keep them, but the support will still go to them. You would not be calling anyone. You would keep it status quo. They would then let you probably keep them indefinitely, perhaps off and on in the beginning. Unfortunately, that is your best option. The grands are tied to their habit. Yes, they probably love them, but they are addicts and , thus, love their drugs more. It would cost you more as a widow. But, I would not change things. It is something to think about and it could affect your son. But, you could change those kids around to ones that don't fight with the structure, rules, expectations, and true love that they crave. If you leave it open and let them see or take the grands when they want and still receive the cash flow, then they would feel 'safe' to keep them there longer. Non legal aid for money for clothing and food is out there through churches and programs to help the needy. I would go this route. You have constantly hit a wall the other way. Yes, the other way is the 'right' way, but you would lose and not see the grands. You should not do anything and see how it goes. Discuss it with your son as it nears the end of summer. Check into free counseling. We have Jewish Family Services and Interface in California. They might greatly improve in behavior with structure. Or they might get worse because they miss their parents, even with the chaos, because it is the only life that they know. [/QUOTE]
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