Relapse again

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Nancy, Dec 6, 2011.

  1. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I received several texts from difficult child last night, actually 2 in the morning, that made no sense so I questioned her and asked if she was drinking or using. She said no but as I questioned more it was apparent she was either drunk or high. Of course then I couldn't go back to sleep and am sick to my stomach.

    I told her to call me today but that I didn't think I wanted her to come to our extended family Christmas party this Saturday. I just can't bear to hear them tell her how proud they are of her when I know the truth.

    And here's the kicker....yesterday she would have had 90 days.

  2. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    I am so sorry Nancy-you must feel like you've been kicked in the stomach.


    Today can be day 1 of a more successful journey ... Don't lose hope.
  3. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    I am so sorry to hear this.

  4. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    I'm so sorry.
    Interesting that she contacted you whle in the process. Also, she was much quicker than usual to get to the truth.
    I continue to pray for you and your family.
  5. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh she didn't tell me the truth, I suspected something when I saw a post she made on my fb and texted her about it.
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sending support your way. by the way, last night on Dr. Drew he stated that it takes on average seven attempts to reach sobriety. I hope she feels sick today and is able to move forward again asap. Hugs
  7. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I saw the title and said, "aww #$%#." I'm sorry. It's true that it sometimes takes several tries for an addict to stay sober, so try not to let your thinking lead you into the worst case scenario. Hopefully it's just a slip and she'll get right back onto the track and start again.
  8. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Same thing as Crazy... Just a horrible drop in the pit of my stomach. :hugs: I am sending you lots of gentle hugs and a ton of support.
  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I'm so very sorry Nancy. They do say it takes several attempts.

    Hopefully this was just a stumble, not a complete fall off the wagon.
  10. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Me too Nancy... when I saw the subject line I was hoping it wasn't you!! But like others have said remember they say relapse is part of the process. Hopefully she will wake up today with a horrible hangover and realize she really does not want to go back to that life. Definitely do something for you today and make your holiday plans without her....I know how hard it is to enjoy this time when you are worried sick about her... but you do need to take care of you right now. She has to be the one to take care of her.


  11. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I'm sorry, Nancy. I know you had your hopes built up and are disappointed. I had a feeling though that she waas talking the talk- it seemed she was saying just what you wanted to hear an awful lot.
  12. elizabrary

    elizabrary Member

    Sorry Nancy. Hopefully she will try again. I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts.
  13. HMBgal

    HMBgal Active Member

    Oh I've lived this with my meth-addicted daughter and I know how awful it is. It took her quite a few tries and two arrests to get clean, but she's now a mom of two, finishing up her dental assisting program at the top of her class, and clean and sober for 9 years--it can and does happen. Cyber hugs and best thoughts to you.
  14. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    I needed to read this today.....thank you.
  15. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Nancy, I am so sorry!!! Prayers that she pulls those bootstraps up and gets back on the right track.... (((HUGS)))
  16. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh dang. I was so afraid to open the PE forum when I saw that title because I didnt want to see which difficult child had relapsed. Hopefully it was just a small hiccup and not a major fall.
  17. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Nancy, I saw your post at school and couldn't even bring myself to post on the thread. I was so upset. It's almost like my own child had relapsed.

    I think I would wait and see how she reacts to the relapse before I would ban her from the family Christmas get-together. If she is upset and remorseful, then I would reconsider. If she continues to drink or use drugs, it's a no brainer.

    I am so sorry!


  18. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Oh, Nancy...I'm so sorry.
  19. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    Nancy, I'm so sorry. I am sending you a hug -- don't know what to say.

    Love, Esther
  20. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    She denies it. husband called her from the airport on his way back from a business trip and he got nowhere with her. She texted me and said she did not drink. I told her I didn't believe her and her texts made no sense. When I asked her where she was she said she was crashing at Michelle's (her old friend from high school). I knew she must be drunk because Michelle lives 130 miles away. She said she meant Michael's. Convenient isn't it that the names are so close. Michael supposedly is some guy she works with. I don't believe any of it. I then found pics on fb from last friday when she came into our community 5 minutes away from us and was at a bar with some of her old drinking friends. And last night she was texting this neighbor boy who helped get her started on pot when she was 14 and who is in the court ordered program on AA. He is bad news, always has been, and she knows he is the fastest way to a relapse. He is a heroin dealer and there is no way his urine tests are coming up clean for court, he must be having someone pee for him, probably difficult child.

    I'm pulling back, I don't want to see her or interact right now. I feel it will all come crashing down around her soon and I don't want to watch. The funny thing is I always know when something is wrong before it happens. I woke at 2 am feeling something bad was happening and just looked at my phone and noticed the post and that's when I found everything. I hate this premonition thing I have.