Update She had to do floor set yesterday at work 6-11 pm. She texted me at 11 and said she was coming home, that she never wanted to feel like she did that night again and that she was done drinking. I asked if she was willing to get back on her program because those were the terms we agreed on for her living here and she said yes. So she came home, gave me a hug and we sat and talked. husband is out of town so easy child, her and I were there. She said her first relapse was about a week ago after an AA meeting that she went to with a girl she had been hanging with from another AA meeting. I knew this girl was going to be a problem. She was court ordered into rehab and hasn't accepted it. Anyway they went to her boyfriend's house and she had two beers. Then Saturday night she went to her co-workers house knowing that she would be drinking so she made the conscious decision. All she learned about the slippery slope of one drink didn't come back to her. She drank a case of 24 beers, threw up, passed out and doesn't remember much except that she almost got into a physical fight with her friend's ex-boyfriend. She said she tried to cut her throat (think that's her drama queen talking, no marks, she likes to have people save her).
She had to get up at 6 am to go back and finish floor set and she's there now. She said she is going to an AA meeting today and reintroducing herself and calling her sponsor which she hasn't done for several days now. I asked her what changed her mind and she said she just decided she doesn't want to feel like that again and that she learned she can't be a social drinker (another lesson they drummed into her at rehab but evidently she didn't believe). Also she talked to her manager at work and she told her to go back home and get back on the program. And husband sent her several texts asking her to not give up on herself and to remember how good it felt when she was clean and sober.
So for now she is home and hopefully recommitted to her program. I did really well this time. No crying or panicing. I teared up at one point when I was questioning what kind of friend lets you drink knowing you are in recovery but I was really in control. While I was very afraid that this would lead to her living on the street I did not try to rescue her. I am learning that this is her fight and I have no control over whether she wins. All we can do is tell her we love her and support her when she is in recovery.
Thank you all for your support, it means everything to me, it's how I get through these difficult times.
Nancy
