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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 719136" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>Nessie</p><p></p><p>It seems you are struggling with this. It is very difficult. I am fortunate in a way that I do not have any younger ones to worry about. He is our youngest.</p><p></p><p>Have you thought about going to therapy for yourself? I finally did and have learned how to set healthy but loving boundaries with our son. For me. It's for him also. </p><p></p><p>I have had several therapists commend me for my strong boundaries. I was kind of surprised actually. How can I not have these boundaries? How can I survive without them?</p><p></p><p>I think it's just different for moms. Their hearts beat under ours for nine months. How can anyone other than another mother understand that bond? I think our husbands see their sons as men and it's just different and they want them to be tough, not soft. They don't know how to react to the behaviors. They are so very angry but they do love them. We don't have a say in how they deal with it. It's not the same as us nor should it be I think. </p><p></p><p>I have turned over much of dealing with my son now to my husband. Man to man, so to speak. Mommy time is over. He is a man now. </p><p></p><p>No one can treat them with what a father expects of his son, other than a father. That is very powerful too. I don't want to rob my husband or son of this very important relationship by trying to control it. I may not always agree on how my husband handles things, but I have really let this go. It's just not mine to own.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 719136, member: 15032"] Nessie It seems you are struggling with this. It is very difficult. I am fortunate in a way that I do not have any younger ones to worry about. He is our youngest. Have you thought about going to therapy for yourself? I finally did and have learned how to set healthy but loving boundaries with our son. For me. It's for him also. I have had several therapists commend me for my strong boundaries. I was kind of surprised actually. How can I not have these boundaries? How can I survive without them? I think it's just different for moms. Their hearts beat under ours for nine months. How can anyone other than another mother understand that bond? I think our husbands see their sons as men and it's just different and they want them to be tough, not soft. They don't know how to react to the behaviors. They are so very angry but they do love them. We don't have a say in how they deal with it. It's not the same as us nor should it be I think. I have turned over much of dealing with my son now to my husband. Man to man, so to speak. Mommy time is over. He is a man now. No one can treat them with what a father expects of his son, other than a father. That is very powerful too. I don't want to rob my husband or son of this very important relationship by trying to control it. I may not always agree on how my husband handles things, but I have really let this go. It's just not mine to own. [/QUOTE]
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