My son just turned five and is still going through what I thought was just a "phase" at 18 months. I have acknowledged my son does not behave "normal" compared to other kids, but my husband has been in complete denial and I couldn't even mention any perceived problem of his 'perfect' son. It got so bad this weekend, he finally broke down and said there was a problem! I've ordered the book Explosive Child and am anxiously waiting its arrival, hoping it can help our family. I'm hoping from all of you that you can tell me if you think my son has ODD or if it's something else.
His main problem is his ability to handle any sort of frustration he feels. While his outbursts have changed somewhat (at 2 he would hit and now it's more throwing things), the reaction is pretty much the same. The littlest things will set him off (green cup instead of the blue one, opened the door instead of letting him do it, looked at him funny). I can visually see him starting to lose it. Even if I can ward it off for one thing, it's inevitable that he will blow. Once he blows, there's no talking logically to him and he will pout and cry and throw things for up to an hour. Time outs are only somewhat effective. He is so moody and short tempered, I feel I am walking on eggshells all the time.
I do not want our family "caving" to him just to keep the peace and I don't want my husband and I agitated at each other just because we're really frustrated with our son. I feel sorry for all of us (son included) and just want to figure out a solution.
My husband is adamently against medications so that will not be an option. I'm getting the book hoping that works, but if not, my husband might be more open to getting professional help given I've tried the least "invasive" option first.
I talk to my son when he's not in a mood and try to give him pointers on how to handle anxiety and frustration. He even repeats what I say to his little sister, so I know it's sinking in. But, in the moment, when I see the flip switch in his mind, there's no going back, there's no talking him down and there's no reasonable consequences. He is perfect at preschool, so it build and build and every night is filled with dealing with his emotions. He is very apologetic after he comes down and goes on his merry way... that is, until the next trigger sends him over the edge.
I'm at my wits end. I just don't want him to end up a sad, lonely teenager and want him to be happy -- which, most of the time, he doesn't appear to be.
Thanks for any insight.
His main problem is his ability to handle any sort of frustration he feels. While his outbursts have changed somewhat (at 2 he would hit and now it's more throwing things), the reaction is pretty much the same. The littlest things will set him off (green cup instead of the blue one, opened the door instead of letting him do it, looked at him funny). I can visually see him starting to lose it. Even if I can ward it off for one thing, it's inevitable that he will blow. Once he blows, there's no talking logically to him and he will pout and cry and throw things for up to an hour. Time outs are only somewhat effective. He is so moody and short tempered, I feel I am walking on eggshells all the time.
I do not want our family "caving" to him just to keep the peace and I don't want my husband and I agitated at each other just because we're really frustrated with our son. I feel sorry for all of us (son included) and just want to figure out a solution.
My husband is adamently against medications so that will not be an option. I'm getting the book hoping that works, but if not, my husband might be more open to getting professional help given I've tried the least "invasive" option first.
I talk to my son when he's not in a mood and try to give him pointers on how to handle anxiety and frustration. He even repeats what I say to his little sister, so I know it's sinking in. But, in the moment, when I see the flip switch in his mind, there's no going back, there's no talking him down and there's no reasonable consequences. He is perfect at preschool, so it build and build and every night is filled with dealing with his emotions. He is very apologetic after he comes down and goes on his merry way... that is, until the next trigger sends him over the edge.
I'm at my wits end. I just don't want him to end up a sad, lonely teenager and want him to be happy -- which, most of the time, he doesn't appear to be.
Thanks for any insight.