Remember the nasty words

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by klmno, Jul 22, 2009.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    by my mother? The past two days she's emailing about what a wonderful I am and have been to difficult child and how lucky he is to have me.

    It appears to me to be similar to a physical abuser- always trying to make up for it afterwards but she has not even apologized. It makes me think, though, that she knows exactly how out of line she was.
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Or that she has something up her sleeve? Or perhaps she is unstable enough that her flip flop in behavior isn't registering?

    I'd be wary of the first, but lean heavily toward the 2nd one. I know because my Mom does the same thing.

    And I just visited mother in law where I got another healthy dose of that type of thinking.....and she truly doesn't realize she's swinging from one end to the other.

  3. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Keep copies of those emails and show them to the judge next time. And the PO, and anyone else who says you're not a good mother and especially who says your mother says you're a bad parent.

    It's all good! Thank her for it, encourage her to say more nice things, then use it.

  4. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Marg gives excellent advice. I would make copies of the good, the bad AND the ugly. Your mother's unstable and should have no voice in the raising of your children. Grandma's usually shouldn't anyway, unless there is something horribly wrong. She had her chance to be an excellent parent with you. I'm sure she was flawless. :rolleyes: Now it's your turn and even the best intentioned grandparents should keep their yaps shut. She doesn't even come close to qualifying for "well intentioned". Or as one court appointed investigator said regarding a very ugly and unwanted intervention by someone who wasn't even a family member years ago, "I believe her motives are less than altruistic.":ashamed:
  5. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Thanks, Ladies! Yes, I am keeping them. (by the way- I love that smiley you used, Witz! I don't recall seeing it before.)

    If I ever see her dr, I'll be taking these, too. It's getting a little obvious, I would think, when some emails are accusing me of being "just like the tot mom" and saying herself that she's having nightmares and anxiety attacks due to me treating her and difficult child horribly, then 2 weeks later I'm getting emails saying what a good mom I am and she's glad difficult child has me as an advocate. If she isn't delusional, she's just plain verbally abusive.

    Personally, I believe that anxiety and panic attacks can cause distorted and delusional thinking. At least by my definitions of the words- I don't know if that's the same as what is used for diagnosis'ing though.
  6. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I think that your thoughts on anxiety causing distorted thinking are right on point. At least in so far as the distorted thinking goes. "Delusional" is a bit harder to prove. (by the way, the smiley is probably in the list somewhere, but I do it by typing in a colon, then "rolleyes", then another colon.)