I actually think it was good we waited for the memorial for husband. At this stage, we're not so crippled by grief that we can make better decisions that aren't rushed. Melissa decided it will be cool to serve their dad's favorite snack foods at the gathering at Nichole's after, along with his coveted Coke. lol So there will be a couple of things one wouldn't ordinarily consider "snack" foods such as mincemeat cookies, angel food cake, and Hershey kisses. Nichole decided since they all loved the posting of photos of husband on fb.........she wants us all to find as many as we can, she'll scan them onto her playstation, set it to slide show and have music playing. Photos will span his lifetime from infancy to present. Which means I'll be back on an obsessive photo hunt again. We've done far more laughing and eye rolling of late going through husband's pack rat stuff. OMG the man had cancelled checks and old bills from 1989 and before! The good thing is that easy child found most of the taxes, we think. But also.....we found his things from the military. I'd known husband had served in Vietnam in the Navy, but I didn't know he served in the Navy for 5 yrs. The rest of his military time was in the Army. We found photos from that time, a book like a year book type thing from the ship he served on (darrin will go bonkers when he gets to see it), the girls cracked up over a "partying" photo........his old high school photo, which also got them to laughing, his year books in which it seems everyone thought he was a "nut". lol We laughed over some of the ridiculous stuff he saved. We were breathless at some of the wonderful things he managed to save among all the "garbage". Like his dad's stuff from WWII. But working from 8am until 4pm.........and we only got a very small area done. And you wouldn't believe the amount of trashbags that went out, we're talking the huge heavy duty yard bags here. That stuff doesn't bother me to go through except that it's tedious. It's the same type of thing I did behind husband's back when he was working to keep the pack rat syndrome from being completely out of control. You can't just take a box, glance at it and decide it's trash. You have to physically go through each and every one very carefully or you'll either miss something important or a family treasure. husband's clothing....is another matter. I've bagged up some. I *thought* it had gotten mixed up in the trash and for a short while acted like a crazy woman. I found the bags in the kitchen. Bagging his clothing is hard for me. It has to be done, because Mr. Pack Rat even has important stuff in and among his clothing in the dressers. But I'm not quite ready to part with them yet. I've no clue why. As I'm bagging them though I keep expecting him to come up behind me and to demand to know what I'm doing with his clothes. Stupid, but so far I can't shake it. So I'll work on bagging them and find a place to store them until I'm ready to part with them. I think it's that I just can't let him "go" to that degree just yet. We managed to find a few treasures to sell on ebay. One is the original sound track to Jesus Christ Superstar, and another collectible album. I had no clue he even had them. Oh, and the National Geographic mag of when we landed on the moon in good condition. He must have salvaged that the time I tossed out boxes upon boxes of NG mags from a period of at least 20 yrs or more. But I'd imagine it's worth something now, it was back when I was tossing mags. lol I just couldn't stand him saving all that stuff when we lived in an apartment and had no room for it. It still hit us from time to time. There is still the whole it's not quite real thing going on. But when that happens to one of us, we just call up or talk to someone. With their grandparents there were long illnesses ect to prepare us for the inevitable. With husband it was just so d*mn sudden and unexpected. I'm so glad I did the photo thing on fb. The kids had forgotten that while husband didn't take an active role in their parenting, that he was always there, always caring, never missed anything important.....and that he was far more active than they'd remembered in later years. Those photos and others we've been finding have brought back long forgotten memories........and have also given them a "whole" picture of their dad as a person, a man, and not just their dad.