I found this site earlier in the week and the posts helped me make some decisions. Here's our story. Our charming, smart son started smoking pot while in high school. This spring, during his freshman year of college, he was busted in his dorm room for pot and intent to sell (a federal offense) and suspended from school. With help from an attorney, he got the court charges deferred - if he stays out of trouble for 16 months the charges go away. This summer he's been working and taking classes at the community college and we've been helping him on the steps to go back to the university. With all the second chances, we though he would be scared straight. . . But sadly no, he started smoking pot again. This week I discovered a large bag of bindles (tiny plastic bags for selling drugs) hidden in a stuffed animal. No drugs and no scales, but the bindles are evidence to me he's participating in selling again. After taking his car keys, I found the pot paraphernalia hidden in his car. This was too much. With much trepidation I asked his Probation Officer if he had flexibility if son was found violating probation. PO said yes he had a number of options to try and scare the the **** out of the kid: put him back on close supervision, require drug counseling, put him in jail a few days and as only the last step, revoke the deferral and send him back to court on the original charges. Today was the reckoning. Our difficult child was called in for a drug test and told all the above by the PO. Our son is furious at me. He is scared and thinks it's all coming down because I ratted him out! I hate it my only difficult child is so angry at me. But I had to do something. We keep telling him, whether he smokes pot or not is up to him, but we don't want to finance it! The car, paying for school and a place to live is contingent on his being a student and playing by our rules. I don't know how this is going to play out. If he stay clean for a year - no felony. I'm afraid he's willing to risk EVERYTHING to get high. Fortunately husband and I are on the same page. Any words of wisdom from this community are welcome.