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Resentment toward son and him having a baby on the way
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 681692" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Hi DM,</p><p>I know exactly how you feel. I remember when my son told me his girlfriend was pregnant. I'll admit, I was not happy at all. Here was my irresponsible son getting to take on the role of a father. He and the girlfriend did get married and for a while it appeared that he was really trying and I thought "finally, he's getting it and changing for the better". Those "positive" changes were short lived and a very false. Not long after baby #2 was born my daughter in law shared with me the ugly truth about what was really going on. They ended up getting divorced and my son abandoned his children. My grandson was 3 months old then, he will be 6 in a few weeks.</p><p></p><p>I can only share with you what I did. I maintained a good relationship with my daughter in law. She is a wonderful mother to my grands. She lives 2000 miles from me but husband and I will travel there to see them. She is re-married and has a new daughter who I also consider to be my granddaughter.</p><p>I am so glad that I made the effort to maintain a relationship with my daughter in law.</p><p></p><p>Do you have a relationship with baby's mother? Do you think your son will be an active part of the baby's life?</p><p></p><p>You have time and in that time I would suggest thinking about how you can set clear boundaries in that you will not allow your son to use this child as a bargaining chip. Also, remember, the baby's mother will have a say in all of this too.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there!! This is just another storm that you will weather and having a grandchild is like the rainbow that comes after the storm.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) to you...........................</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 681692, member: 18516"] Hi DM, I know exactly how you feel. I remember when my son told me his girlfriend was pregnant. I'll admit, I was not happy at all. Here was my irresponsible son getting to take on the role of a father. He and the girlfriend did get married and for a while it appeared that he was really trying and I thought "finally, he's getting it and changing for the better". Those "positive" changes were short lived and a very false. Not long after baby #2 was born my daughter in law shared with me the ugly truth about what was really going on. They ended up getting divorced and my son abandoned his children. My grandson was 3 months old then, he will be 6 in a few weeks. I can only share with you what I did. I maintained a good relationship with my daughter in law. She is a wonderful mother to my grands. She lives 2000 miles from me but husband and I will travel there to see them. She is re-married and has a new daughter who I also consider to be my granddaughter. I am so glad that I made the effort to maintain a relationship with my daughter in law. Do you have a relationship with baby's mother? Do you think your son will be an active part of the baby's life? You have time and in that time I would suggest thinking about how you can set clear boundaries in that you will not allow your son to use this child as a bargaining chip. Also, remember, the baby's mother will have a say in all of this too. Hang in there!! This is just another storm that you will weather and having a grandchild is like the rainbow that comes after the storm. ((HUGS)) to you........................... [/QUOTE]
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Resentment toward son and him having a baby on the way
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