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Resentment toward son and him having a baby on the way
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<blockquote data-quote="detachingmother" data-source="post: 681694" data-attributes="member: 20063"><p>Yes, and she lately has looked at me like an ATM too, in fact, I used those exact words. She wants money for baby things, which I did and didn't mind. Now it's constantly asking me for money for phone calls so those two can talk...(Son's in jail and often they "waste" phone calls fighting). They are both emotional manipulators. And very good at it, but I'm aware and getting very good at giving tough love. Had a lot of practice. I am not bending on this, haven't been giving $ for phone, since they fight instead of talk. I have only put $10 in past two weeks and only so I could talk to him. She had her own $70 for phone calls and chose to spend it on things she did not need, then keeps asking me for $$. Relentlessly. I am in ignore mode with her right now.</p><p></p><p>Son would be a good provider and father, overall, but not sure if it will last. He cannot keep himself out of trouble long enough. Can't do that when he's in jail, if he goes back. He will be out when baby's about 3 months...in jail now, but on way to 90 inpatient. Honestly, now that I think about it, he may go to prison when he faces felony probation after all this. So, I am getting ahead of it all with a lot of anxiety. He may end up not even in the picture, other than short visits, while he possibly does 18 months in prison boot camp. Probably wouldn't be the worst thing that can happen.</p><p></p><p>Yes, you are right. I couldn't see the forest through the trees last night. I'm frazzled, I suppose. Too close to my own situation. I get on track, and get right back off.</p><p></p><p>I do need to remember, there's a good chance Son will not be around long term. I do need to keep things as friendly as possible with Baby's mom.</p><p></p><p>Ugh...I just see what could happen and it's almost too much to digest. God doesn't give us what we cannot handle though, I guess.</p><p></p><p>Yes, I need to remember this is temporary.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes I wish I lived 2000 miles away. lol. But, I do live a 4 hour round trip away, so I can at least keep my distance that way.</p><p></p><p>Now I go off to work for 48 hours straight starting tonight, so I will be occupied for awhile. </p><p></p><p>Thank you Tanya, for the response. As many of us have, I feel a little out of my mind, almost co-dependent. I should get some Al-Anon books and go to meetings, just been so short on time lately, and I do this on purpose to fill the gaps of lost mind.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="detachingmother, post: 681694, member: 20063"] Yes, and she lately has looked at me like an ATM too, in fact, I used those exact words. She wants money for baby things, which I did and didn't mind. Now it's constantly asking me for money for phone calls so those two can talk...(Son's in jail and often they "waste" phone calls fighting). They are both emotional manipulators. And very good at it, but I'm aware and getting very good at giving tough love. Had a lot of practice. I am not bending on this, haven't been giving $ for phone, since they fight instead of talk. I have only put $10 in past two weeks and only so I could talk to him. She had her own $70 for phone calls and chose to spend it on things she did not need, then keeps asking me for $$. Relentlessly. I am in ignore mode with her right now. Son would be a good provider and father, overall, but not sure if it will last. He cannot keep himself out of trouble long enough. Can't do that when he's in jail, if he goes back. He will be out when baby's about 3 months...in jail now, but on way to 90 inpatient. Honestly, now that I think about it, he may go to prison when he faces felony probation after all this. So, I am getting ahead of it all with a lot of anxiety. He may end up not even in the picture, other than short visits, while he possibly does 18 months in prison boot camp. Probably wouldn't be the worst thing that can happen. Yes, you are right. I couldn't see the forest through the trees last night. I'm frazzled, I suppose. Too close to my own situation. I get on track, and get right back off. I do need to remember, there's a good chance Son will not be around long term. I do need to keep things as friendly as possible with Baby's mom. Ugh...I just see what could happen and it's almost too much to digest. God doesn't give us what we cannot handle though, I guess. Yes, I need to remember this is temporary. Sometimes I wish I lived 2000 miles away. lol. But, I do live a 4 hour round trip away, so I can at least keep my distance that way. Now I go off to work for 48 hours straight starting tonight, so I will be occupied for awhile. Thank you Tanya, for the response. As many of us have, I feel a little out of my mind, almost co-dependent. I should get some Al-Anon books and go to meetings, just been so short on time lately, and I do this on purpose to fill the gaps of lost mind. [/QUOTE]
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