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General Parenting
Residential Treatment for Non-Extreme Cases?
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<blockquote data-quote="firehorsewoman" data-source="post: 654527" data-attributes="member: 15804"><p>Hello Everyone:</p><p></p><p>I am back. I seem to check in once a year or so. I was quite active when I joined ten years ago, when difficult child was three years old. I have received wonderful support here. Yet, over the years find it too painful to hang out here too often. I hope that you all understand.</p><p></p><p>But I am back for the expert advice I feel I can only get here.</p><p></p><p>When I last left off a year ago, difficult child was living with me for several months (dad has primary custody.) His behavior and the situation with his father, stepmother and sister calmed down enough for him to return to their home at the start of the school year last fall. Since then, I moved to accept a job (finally got a good job!) about 85 miles from where I used to live and where difficult child lives with his dad.</p><p></p><p>difficult child has continued to see a pediatric psychiatrist who specializes in mood disorders (he has been her patient for 1.5 years now) and the same therapist (for over a year) at the Children's Hospital that he has been going to since he was 2 years old. (Lots of p-docs, neurologists, psychologists over the years but the past 1.5 years have been stable with this one doctor who I think is excellent.) The p-doctor thinks that his medications and doses are appropriate and I agree. The problem is that his behavior is not one bit improved at home and as he gets older and we all become more weary the situation deteriorates. Both the p-doctor and therapist think it is time for difficult child to go to a Residential Treatment Center (RTC).</p><p></p><p>I have read past posts regarding RTCs. Most of them seem to involve very severe cases. My son is not on the extreme. Bad enough for all of us to be miserable. But not as extreme as most of the cases I read about going to Residential Treatment Center (RTC).</p><p></p><p>The main problems with my son at both homes are:</p><p>defiance</p><p>purposely provoking family members, pestering, starting fights, constant arguing with adults and his sister</p><p>mood swings-though much better than pre-lithium years ago still lots of yelling, screaming meltdowns</p><p>lying, manipulative</p><p>breaking rules</p><p>constantly negative about everything, and it is always someone else's fault</p><p>cannot be trusted alone at home for even a few minutes</p><p>You get the picture.</p><p></p><p>Doing fine at school although we all worry about how he is going to handle Middle School next year. Gets all A's, working several years above grade level in most subjects especially math. Only minor behavior issues at school since lithium but at home, no improvement at all. His doctors, dad and I had all hoped that once he was able to cope at school some of that would transfer to home life. It hasn't.</p><p></p><p>So, I would really like to hear from parents who had similar (bad yet not extreme) situations with their difficult children and who also have experience with Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Did Residential Treatment Center (RTC) help or hurt? Did you consider it but then back off? Etc.</p><p></p><p>If we don't do the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) recommended by the p-doctor, I am considering having difficult child come live with me for the summer. I will need to employee a respite type nanny or similar since I am now working full-time and have no other help. difficult child will hate it almost as much as being sent to a Residential Treatment Center (RTC). He hated it last time and worked hard on his behavior so he could get back to his dad's double income house with the cable TV, game room, X-Box, going out to eat all of the time, vacations, etc. My house is low-income and low frills. He hated that.</p><p></p><p> I am also thinking about regular boarding schools. It is hard to say what is best for him. But something has to change. Both homes are really suffering.</p><p>His father and stepmother are at the end of their rope and the time when he comes to my house with his sister (every other weekend) is just miserable.</p><p></p><p>Thanks in advance,</p><p>FHW</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="firehorsewoman, post: 654527, member: 15804"] Hello Everyone: I am back. I seem to check in once a year or so. I was quite active when I joined ten years ago, when difficult child was three years old. I have received wonderful support here. Yet, over the years find it too painful to hang out here too often. I hope that you all understand. But I am back for the expert advice I feel I can only get here. When I last left off a year ago, difficult child was living with me for several months (dad has primary custody.) His behavior and the situation with his father, stepmother and sister calmed down enough for him to return to their home at the start of the school year last fall. Since then, I moved to accept a job (finally got a good job!) about 85 miles from where I used to live and where difficult child lives with his dad. difficult child has continued to see a pediatric psychiatrist who specializes in mood disorders (he has been her patient for 1.5 years now) and the same therapist (for over a year) at the Children's Hospital that he has been going to since he was 2 years old. (Lots of p-docs, neurologists, psychologists over the years but the past 1.5 years have been stable with this one doctor who I think is excellent.) The p-doctor thinks that his medications and doses are appropriate and I agree. The problem is that his behavior is not one bit improved at home and as he gets older and we all become more weary the situation deteriorates. Both the p-doctor and therapist think it is time for difficult child to go to a Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I have read past posts regarding RTCs. Most of them seem to involve very severe cases. My son is not on the extreme. Bad enough for all of us to be miserable. But not as extreme as most of the cases I read about going to Residential Treatment Center (RTC). The main problems with my son at both homes are: defiance purposely provoking family members, pestering, starting fights, constant arguing with adults and his sister mood swings-though much better than pre-lithium years ago still lots of yelling, screaming meltdowns lying, manipulative breaking rules constantly negative about everything, and it is always someone else's fault cannot be trusted alone at home for even a few minutes You get the picture. Doing fine at school although we all worry about how he is going to handle Middle School next year. Gets all A's, working several years above grade level in most subjects especially math. Only minor behavior issues at school since lithium but at home, no improvement at all. His doctors, dad and I had all hoped that once he was able to cope at school some of that would transfer to home life. It hasn't. So, I would really like to hear from parents who had similar (bad yet not extreme) situations with their difficult children and who also have experience with Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Did Residential Treatment Center (RTC) help or hurt? Did you consider it but then back off? Etc. If we don't do the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) recommended by the p-doctor, I am considering having difficult child come live with me for the summer. I will need to employee a respite type nanny or similar since I am now working full-time and have no other help. difficult child will hate it almost as much as being sent to a Residential Treatment Center (RTC). He hated it last time and worked hard on his behavior so he could get back to his dad's double income house with the cable TV, game room, X-Box, going out to eat all of the time, vacations, etc. My house is low-income and low frills. He hated that. I am also thinking about regular boarding schools. It is hard to say what is best for him. But something has to change. Both homes are really suffering. His father and stepmother are at the end of their rope and the time when he comes to my house with his sister (every other weekend) is just miserable. Thanks in advance, FHW [/QUOTE]
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