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Residential Treatment for Non-Extreme Cases?
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<blockquote data-quote="dayatatime" data-source="post: 654633" data-attributes="member: 17805"><p>My Difficult Child is 17 and has been in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for 5 months (was in rehab for a month before that)- so has been out of the house for 6 months. </p><p></p><p>I gave physical custody to the state through a voluntary placement, then was insistent with the state that this is the level of care he needed. I am low income and don't have any out of pocket expense. </p><p></p><p>My kid is a miracle. He has changed so much. Is actually thriving for the first time, has a plan for his future, is pleasant to spend time with….. Not all of the kids are having that experience. My gut feeling is that for many the intervention didn't come early enough.</p><p></p><p>If my kid was attending school, I might not have gone this route, but I also might have. *I* couldn't take it any more. And we were one another's trigger. And we weren't able to work with mental health professionals because he wasn't compliant…. </p><p></p><p>I'm not sure where he falls of the spectrum, but he had never had a psychiatric hospitalization (though there were a couple visits to the psychiatric er at the end)….. but they never seemed to care that I didn't feel safe with him in the home. It was all- so what if 4 hours ago he was screaming and melting onto the floor saying that everyone would find him justified if he were kill you… in the context of him having gotten somewhat psychical with me in the past. Right now he's telling us he isn't going to hurt you- so- bye- and by the way- he needs x, y, and z treatment. And you are his mother, so you are responsible for making that happening. Never mind the fact that he's 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, rages at you, breaks things, and will not comply with any intervention you put in place…….</p><p></p><p>I did 5 years of trying to get help here, there, and everywhere. The problems where getting worse. One mental health professional along the way pointed out that what we needed was therapeutic foster care-- that might have been enough 3 years ago or so when she said it-- but I couldn't figure out how to get it-- now I know. I could have called cps and reported myself, then negotiated for it. But she couldn't tell me how. And I couldn't figure it out. </p><p></p><p>At the end of the day the decision was about my own boundaries. It was an act of faith that my "self-sacrificing" was not good for anyone and that the best thing I can do is take the steps I need to take for me and then let the cards fall where they may. It's just full of grace that things have really turned around. He is actually *nice* to me these days. And my life is so much better- I am so much healthier- without him around all the time. </p><p></p><p>But there was a lot of letting the cards fall. I half think that creates the space for what needs to happen to happen (for grace)- and I half think we really lucked out. I all the way know that my child was headed down a very dark path and that now he's on a path of recovery. </p><p></p><p>The structure the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) provides is fabulous for him. Staff isn't perfect, but it's a good learning experience for him figure out how to get along with them anyway. And the treatment team is wonderful. But the way the system is set up I had no say in where he was placed, and they don't match placement and kids-- kids just go where there is a bed available. </p><p></p><p>The fact that it's through CPS might actually help a bit because the case worker is required to visit me twice a month. I don't feel at all shut out. I felt very sad dropping him off there last night-- but that's fine. A little sadness isn't going to hurt me. </p><p></p><p>As for education…. that had been a big problem. My kid is academically inclined but hadn't gone to school for a year and half. I tried working the DOE to get an IEP for emotional disturbance, but wasn't successful. When they gave him the education tests he was still scoring quite high, so there was no demonstrated need and they closed the case (and I was working with an advocate from family court- so I was putting in maximum effort and not taking an easy no). It seemed like they wanted to say that no, there isn't a problem here that needs treatment. He's just Bad. You should discipline him….. Make him go to school…. you're his mother…. He doesn't have educational issues. Meanwhile he wasn't *getting* an education. So, do I like the schooling the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). No. I don't think he's being challenged. It concerns me that there is no homework, because he needs to learn how to cope with homework if he's going to go to college, which he does plan to do (miracle). But, also, yes. They moved him into a more appropriate math class mid-year and he quickly caught on there too and is now helping others to learn the material-- that is self-esteem building. And he's engaged in school (miracle). Yesterday he told me stuff about the French Revolution that I didn't know. ….And, at the end of the day, it's a strength of his that can excel academically, but so what. Jails and psychiatric hospitals have plenty of bright residents. He's getting a less than optimal education, but much more than he was getting at home, and even if it wasn't more than he was getting at home-- In life being bright can be asset, but not if a person is bogged down with emotional needs that they can't apply themselves.</p><p></p><p>For me, the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is a gift from God. It has returned my child. …and he's returned himself. He needed to see the writing on the wall-- the staus quo is over. And he saw it. I think I already said this, but I'll say it again-- my gut is that some of the other kids can't see the writing on the wall, because they got this level of care too late.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dayatatime, post: 654633, member: 17805"] My Difficult Child is 17 and has been in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for 5 months (was in rehab for a month before that)- so has been out of the house for 6 months. I gave physical custody to the state through a voluntary placement, then was insistent with the state that this is the level of care he needed. I am low income and don't have any out of pocket expense. My kid is a miracle. He has changed so much. Is actually thriving for the first time, has a plan for his future, is pleasant to spend time with….. Not all of the kids are having that experience. My gut feeling is that for many the intervention didn't come early enough. If my kid was attending school, I might not have gone this route, but I also might have. *I* couldn't take it any more. And we were one another's trigger. And we weren't able to work with mental health professionals because he wasn't compliant…. I'm not sure where he falls of the spectrum, but he had never had a psychiatric hospitalization (though there were a couple visits to the psychiatric er at the end)….. but they never seemed to care that I didn't feel safe with him in the home. It was all- so what if 4 hours ago he was screaming and melting onto the floor saying that everyone would find him justified if he were kill you… in the context of him having gotten somewhat psychical with me in the past. Right now he's telling us he isn't going to hurt you- so- bye- and by the way- he needs x, y, and z treatment. And you are his mother, so you are responsible for making that happening. Never mind the fact that he's 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, rages at you, breaks things, and will not comply with any intervention you put in place……. I did 5 years of trying to get help here, there, and everywhere. The problems where getting worse. One mental health professional along the way pointed out that what we needed was therapeutic foster care-- that might have been enough 3 years ago or so when she said it-- but I couldn't figure out how to get it-- now I know. I could have called cps and reported myself, then negotiated for it. But she couldn't tell me how. And I couldn't figure it out. At the end of the day the decision was about my own boundaries. It was an act of faith that my "self-sacrificing" was not good for anyone and that the best thing I can do is take the steps I need to take for me and then let the cards fall where they may. It's just full of grace that things have really turned around. He is actually *nice* to me these days. And my life is so much better- I am so much healthier- without him around all the time. But there was a lot of letting the cards fall. I half think that creates the space for what needs to happen to happen (for grace)- and I half think we really lucked out. I all the way know that my child was headed down a very dark path and that now he's on a path of recovery. The structure the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) provides is fabulous for him. Staff isn't perfect, but it's a good learning experience for him figure out how to get along with them anyway. And the treatment team is wonderful. But the way the system is set up I had no say in where he was placed, and they don't match placement and kids-- kids just go where there is a bed available. The fact that it's through CPS might actually help a bit because the case worker is required to visit me twice a month. I don't feel at all shut out. I felt very sad dropping him off there last night-- but that's fine. A little sadness isn't going to hurt me. As for education…. that had been a big problem. My kid is academically inclined but hadn't gone to school for a year and half. I tried working the DOE to get an IEP for emotional disturbance, but wasn't successful. When they gave him the education tests he was still scoring quite high, so there was no demonstrated need and they closed the case (and I was working with an advocate from family court- so I was putting in maximum effort and not taking an easy no). It seemed like they wanted to say that no, there isn't a problem here that needs treatment. He's just Bad. You should discipline him….. Make him go to school…. you're his mother…. He doesn't have educational issues. Meanwhile he wasn't *getting* an education. So, do I like the schooling the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). No. I don't think he's being challenged. It concerns me that there is no homework, because he needs to learn how to cope with homework if he's going to go to college, which he does plan to do (miracle). But, also, yes. They moved him into a more appropriate math class mid-year and he quickly caught on there too and is now helping others to learn the material-- that is self-esteem building. And he's engaged in school (miracle). Yesterday he told me stuff about the French Revolution that I didn't know. ….And, at the end of the day, it's a strength of his that can excel academically, but so what. Jails and psychiatric hospitals have plenty of bright residents. He's getting a less than optimal education, but much more than he was getting at home, and even if it wasn't more than he was getting at home-- In life being bright can be asset, but not if a person is bogged down with emotional needs that they can't apply themselves. For me, the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is a gift from God. It has returned my child. …and he's returned himself. He needed to see the writing on the wall-- the staus quo is over. And he saw it. I think I already said this, but I'll say it again-- my gut is that some of the other kids can't see the writing on the wall, because they got this level of care too late. [/QUOTE]
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