This is probably going to come out whiney no matter how I put it, so my apologies in advance! So, last week husband set it up with his Mom that difficult child will be welcome over there on Mondays. This is great, because summer is here and a break once a week is wonderful, it's what I asked for. Only- it's not as perfect as I thought. His Mom is already so judgemental of us- of me in particular. difficult child is perfect, her first grandson, "never" misbehaves for her (probably because she is so much better with him, right? sheesh.) The truth is that before I came along, she was the woman in husband and difficult child's life. She knows exactly how he used to act for her. He just doesn't do that anymore with her because they aren't as close as they used to be- so now she says it must just be us. She has blatantly accused me of favoritism of my younger son and told us how she feels bad for difficult child. She also makes excuses for difficult child's BioMom, even though she's dealt with her in the past and seen firsthand what kinds of things she puts difficult child and husband through. BM has actually tried to physically fight mother in law on more than one occasion, so I hear. husband is a Momma's Boy, but stands up to her sometimes when she is way over the line. I am not predisposed to just take her insults, so I try to keep my distance as much as possible. She's the sort who makes compliments into insults, if you know what I mean. So this Friday, difficult child's BioMom emailed 5 minutes after she picked him up to say that she would be sending him home on Sunday with NO underwear on because we had sent him in a pair of "her" underwear and she was keeping them. (First of all, she must have checked what underwear he had on as soon as he got into the car, who does that? Second of all, we don't have any clothes from her house, she sent those as "replacement underwear" a month ago when he got Gak all over all of his clothes and she threw all of the clothes we sent him in away, even the underwear, apparently.) We even sent the too small and stained "replacement clothes" back to her, except for the underwear, which I'd forgotten about. He just happened to have them on that day. So anyhow, BM decided that she needed to drop difficult child off really early (because she knew we had plans) so husband just had her take him to mother in law (mother in law), where he was going to stay the night. mother in law actually told us that we were ridiculous to want to go to the store and pick difficult child up some underwear at the store and that we were overreacting because we were irritated that BM didn't send him home with underwear on. She said she'd "find" something for him to wear. Is that wierd to anyone else? mother in law also told husband last week that he should just "get over" the fact that BM's now husband, then boyfriend, choked difficult child when he was 2 yrs old and on a visit to her. So now, I am just fretting over the fact that he is going to be over there so often. We already have BM talking badly about us and now difficult child will also have his Grandma doing the same thing, just in a different way. I should just let this go, I think. I don't have any other, better solutions. Does anyone else ever feel like **** because they have the need for respite? I didn't until I realized yesterday that mother in law is going to more than likely use this as one more thing against us(me) and tell everyone else is husband's family how "wierd" our family is and how we just shove difficult child off to the side. Ugh. Can't win for winning!