Retired Mother who has hit the brick wall

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Deb66, Aug 6, 2018.

  1. Deb66

    Deb66 New Member

    I love this site, it has helped me just knowing I am not alone. I have a 36 year old Son who has been a challenge for me all his life. He has ADHD, Bipolar, alcoholic and drug user. This is the first time I have had to deal with him living on the streets with nothing left but the clothes on his back. He needs to be somewhere where they can provide the correct medical attention he requires, rehab and life coaching skills. Since he has no insurance, no job, no car etc. how does he seek assistance? I’ve been told if he goes to jail he could get a court order to go to a rehab. Is this the only solution we have for these people? Isn’t there any places he could go to seek help besides jail? Any input would be so appreciated....
  2. bluebell

    bluebell Active Member

    I assume you are from the US? I couldn't find any help for my son either. The only thing we could find was IOP and that wasn't addressing where he would live and how he would get there. Shelters in my area will not accept a young male for more than a couple of nights. I'm sorry I don't have any suggestions for you, but know that you aren't alone.
  3. Triedntrue

    Triedntrue Active Member

    My son is basically the same diagnosis as yours. Also same age. He is fortunately able to work so is barely hanging on. I have stopped helping and it is very hard to watch them struggle. Until he draws the same conclusions you have you are not going to be able to help him. There has been much talk on this panel about ssi and ssdi. Going into rehab , again he has to want it. I have tried 302 it didn't work. Prayers for all of us is the best i can offer.
  4. Crayola13

    Crayola13 Active Member

    I don't know where you live, but our homeless shelter won't take in someone who shows up intoxicated. If the person arrives as they aren't under the influence, our shelter connects them with a federally funded drug rehab, but only if the person requests. The shelter will also assign a case worker who can connect them with other services they need, but only if the person requests. Our city has a lot of services for the homeless because of how bad it has gotten. Most cities don't do as much for the homeless. Call up the shelters in your area and see what they offer.
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  5. OTE

    OTE Guest

    While it may difficult to find there is some kind of nonprofit rehab for him. Few, if any addicts have insurance so don't even worry about that. That eliminates private rehabs but there are public and nonprofit ones. You need to find the rehab place. He has to agree to go. As he's an adult you're pretty much ignored by docs, rehabs and the entire medical system. But he's unlikely to be able to find help himself. So you have to do the legwork.

    I have never found the internet rehab locator sites helpful. Here's a couple of other thoughts:

    If he goes into the ER for overdose, accident or general medical issue the ER will find him a rehab bed if he agrees to go. But you can call the ER anyway to get a list of rehabs. You'll need to ask for a social worker.

    Rehab is considered a psychiatric or psychology service. Call the closest mental health clinic and ask them for a list of rehabs.

    Call your local state social services agency. Ask how he would get funding for a rehab, typically Medicaid or state mental health funding. Ask for their criteria for getting him the funding and the procedures... Does he apply for funding or get accepted to the program first? Where is the state rehab program? Typically near a state mental hospital?

    None of this is fast or easy. But remember that there is nothing you can do to make him change. This is something that you can do. So the minute he says he wants to go you have a plan in place to take him there and get him in. Have a bag packed for him with all his documents birth cert, ss card, immunization record, doctor name and phone, etc.

    I've always found that feeling like I'm doing something productive for him gives me comfort. Having the plan in place, car ready, knowing how to get in the locked detox doors in the middle of the night, ... Knowing I could get him there before his next craving...all comforting. Mind you, at least a few times he'll change his mind before he gets there...or walk out the back door while you"re walking out the front .but this may be the only thing you can do for him.
    Lasted edited by : Aug 6, 2018
  6. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Welcome Deb!

    Does your son WANT help? Does he WANT to change?

    There is so much wisdom and advice here. You have come to the right place.

    The change has to start with HIM though. We are moms but we cannot fix everything.

  7. overcome mom

    overcome mom Member

    In addition to what OTE said you may try your local county Mental health center. They usually have a crisis counselor who can give you some suggestions. It just all depends on the state you live and how much funding they have. It is a very sad state of affairs that most areas do not offer much in the way of help. Sometimes you have to go out of the area. Sounds like he needs to try and get SSI.
    I too like to get everything done in case. It helps me when I get anxious. My husband says that I am worrying about something that hasn't happened yet but 9 times out of 10 it does happen and I am some what prepared. When he was younger and ran away or got locked up I would go in and clean his room. Just made me feel better for some reason.
  8. OTE

    OTE Guest

    Just one other thought .. Once a program knows your son its lightyears easier for him to get in again. Its finding the program and getting him in the first time that's the toughest. And these programs always have social workers to help him with the paperwork for funding. Just keep researching.. He's not capable of it now so that's all you can do. And pray of course.