Return of the difficult child ...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by dashcat, Apr 17, 2012.

  1. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    My daughter moved out of my home in August of 2010 to move into a flea bag motel with a guy she'd met on the internet. She left following a confrontation about said guy (the night she met him ...having only talked with him on a dating site for about a week ... she took him to her dad's to spend the night when dad wasn't home.. Scary and ugly..) Dad enabled the whole situation so, when she discoverd this dude was not prince charming, she moved in with her dad. In October of 2011, she moved into an apartment with B, who she had been seeing for about a year. B is not awful, but he's no prize either.

    Two weeks ago, she came over and told me they'd broken up and asked if she could stay her for awhile. I told her she could, and layed out the conditions: She had to be working (she is). No drugs and no alcohol. She has to respect my property and keep the house clean. I told her she would pay rent eventually, but I did agree to let her slide on that for awhile. I was very clear that she would not be inviting ANYONE into my home, unless I know that person in real life.

    She has been very respectful and cheerful. She could have gone back to her dad's (where the boundaries are far less clear and where dad usually pretends not to see what is happening), but I think her coming here was something she needed to do.

    We've enjoyed a bit of bonding time waching movies and having a few meals together. It's far from perfect ... I'm used to having my own space and enjoying the whole empty nest thing. I don't have cable or netflix and I don't intend to get either. I get an armload of movies from the library every week and I redbox from time to time. She is allowed to use my computer, but since I use it for my work and school, she has to work around me.

    She says she wants more in life than to be stuck in a tiny apartment with a guy who does nothing but get high and play video games. I'm hoping this is a baby step forward. Wish me luck!
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Good luck! Sounds good so far.
  3. keista

    keista New Member

    Best of luck to both of you! Sounds promising so far.
  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Yipee! progress....I am very happy for you and hope it continues.
  5. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    Sounds like a good baby-step so far!!!
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Fingers crossed for continued progress! Sounds like she's making very good choices.

    Absolutely the best of luck to you both!
  7. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    fingers crossed! -RM
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Fingers crossed.

    But I was going to say it sounds like she's realized which parent has her true best interests at heart. Not that dad doesn't care......but mom is more into "so whatcha gonna do with your life" thing.

    I hope she continues to make better choices.
  9. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Difficult Child this is a wonderful, hopeful post and I was very happy to read it. It sure sounds like your daughter has 'seen the light.' I am happy for you. Keeping my fingers crossed too, and sending a great big hug for you.
  10. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    Very good news, dashcat! Things tend to go in cycles on this board, and hopefully, this is a harbinger of good things for many of our difficult children. All the best.
  11. Elsieshaye

    Elsieshaye Member

    Sending you both lots of good vibes! You're a better man than I, Gunga Din!