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Substance Abuse
Returning after a long time away
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<blockquote data-quote="Rina" data-source="post: 679527" data-attributes="member: 18848"><p>Hi,</p><p></p><p>Sorry for taking time to reply. I've been drained recently and trying to prepare for son's return home and work and everything leaves me extremely tired.</p><p></p><p>I do believe that son could move to Vietnam and stay there, that's why I'm so worried. We've lived in various countries before moving to the US, so moving around and being a foreigner and readjusting is not a new experience for him. He can now manage a (very basic) conversation in Vietnamese, after teaching himself the language over the past year. He is very determined to continue studying it, so I believe that might not be much of a barrier either.</p><p></p><p>I know he blames me for his loss. And I know I can't go back in time and change his past, but... I still feel guilty, which doesn't make sense of me, logically. But it's still there. </p><p>I feel like I've tried hard but I got absolutely nothing. He does not even acknowledge all the things we've given him. He says he wouldn't have minded growing up dirt poor in an orphanage as long as he could be a "real Vietnamese". I told him that he must accept that his life went the way it went, and that there are some positives in that... </p><p></p><p>I just hope he won't relapse because that would truly feel like I've been doing nothing and haven't been able to give him anything. This whole situation hurts so much.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Rina, post: 679527, member: 18848"] Hi, Sorry for taking time to reply. I've been drained recently and trying to prepare for son's return home and work and everything leaves me extremely tired. I do believe that son could move to Vietnam and stay there, that's why I'm so worried. We've lived in various countries before moving to the US, so moving around and being a foreigner and readjusting is not a new experience for him. He can now manage a (very basic) conversation in Vietnamese, after teaching himself the language over the past year. He is very determined to continue studying it, so I believe that might not be much of a barrier either. I know he blames me for his loss. And I know I can't go back in time and change his past, but... I still feel guilty, which doesn't make sense of me, logically. But it's still there. I feel like I've tried hard but I got absolutely nothing. He does not even acknowledge all the things we've given him. He says he wouldn't have minded growing up dirt poor in an orphanage as long as he could be a "real Vietnamese". I told him that he must accept that his life went the way it went, and that there are some positives in that... I just hope he won't relapse because that would truly feel like I've been doing nothing and haven't been able to give him anything. This whole situation hurts so much. [/QUOTE]
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