I cannot afford an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I could never get the county mental health agency's (our Children Services Board (CSB)) case manager or any authority over there to return my call to see about agency help.
I have spent all my money and almost expended ALL credit resources paying for everything (restitution, lawyers, etc). I can't work full time because I can't trust difficult child to do what he's supposed to if he's not in school and I'm at work. They give them days off school every 2 weeks it seems and that's not to mention the time after he gets home from school that I should be working (apprx 1 hr 45mins). He isn't breaking the law right now, fortunately, but he is on probation and I'm held legally accountable if he doesn't tow the line, which he is not. He will leave and I don't know where he is. He will hang out with people he shouldn't be hanging out with. This isn't a lot or for long periods, but still, this is what lead him to get in trouble in the first place.
He will rage if I punish him. No, I can't take everything away from him. How? I can't move furniture out of this house alone. And where would I put it? Then, he will turn my arm up behind my back if I try to put my foot down. Then, he will apologize later and end up doing what I ask and tell me that he can't help his temper sometimes. I finally found a therapist for him that might actually do him some good but I cannot afford to keep medication insurance on him. I'm having to pay it out of pocket since I can't work full time.
There is so much damage to the house- mostly doors and holes in walls where he has raged. This is way beyond removal of a door for a fix. He needs to learn that he has to tow the line and he isn't going to learn that this way becuase there is really nothing I can do to enforce it. I can either wait and let this get worse until he costs me more, breaks the law again and ends up in state detention until he's 21, or does serious physical harm to me. I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't wait for that.
Maybe I should wake him up now before it gets to that point. Maybe he should be awaken in a way that also sends the message to him that he has depleted everything I have and continuing to push that line has left me no choice because if we keep on like this, we will be living on the streets- out of the car. If he goes some place now and has an eye opener before this does go any further, then there is a chance he can come back home. No offense to anyone, but there seems to be a few helpful resources for those who adopt that just aren't there if it's your natural child. I have no help from family or anyone (except the support system here, of course).
Yes, I can turn him in for a probation violation but right now, what he is doing is what most boys his age would do if they thought they could get by with it. It's just that he is not in a position to get by with even that much.