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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 726077" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>THIS!<strong> ↑</strong></p><p></p><p>This is exactly what I felt many times over the years. My kid was not supposed to be like this. He was supposed to be like me! I didn't even talk back to my parents (much). I liked school. I had friends. I made good grades. I never even considered not going to college. I didn't do drugs. I drank - what kid's don't in small towns? But I didn't lie (much) didn't steal and had summer jobs. I was a GOOD KID! I loved my parents to pieces and let them know it!</p><p></p><p>Mine didn't have to be "conventional" or "excel". He didn't have to become a doctor or lawyer. He didn't have to be an eagle scout. He didn't have to play sports. He just had to have a job, not lie, not steal. Was that too much to ask?</p><p></p><p>I found myself spending WAY too much time thinking of my son as the sweet little boy with the big brown eyes and caramel colored hair who loved me and snuggled me and wanted to play with me and give me kisses. I still struggle with that.</p><p></p><p>I've had the same job since before he was born, so my office was like a timeline of his life, photos from baby thru senior year. I finally took almost every single photo I have of him under the age of 18 and hid them. (I left one about age 11 when we took a trip to Chicago to see the King Tut exhibit - because I look <em>fabulous</em> in that picture!) But the other's - all the photo's of that sweet little boy - and all the pictures he drew and cute little cards he made me in school - gone.</p><p></p><p>It helped. It helped a LOT to not have visual reminders of the "before time". Before he became the person he is now. Before the times when he made my life Hell. Before he broke my heart.</p><p></p><p>Now - things are better. Now - when he's out living is own life, I'm able to look at him as he is and not think of that little boy. In fact, I've saved and cropped a couple photos of him lately, where he looks happy and healthy - if still bedraggled and sloppy - and I can look at them and smile. But I see HIM - the man he is. These days that man is doing pretty good - on his own terms.</p><p></p><p>I hope some day the man you see makes you smile, but until that day, seeing the man clearly hurts less than mourning the child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 726077, member: 17309"] THIS![B] ↑[/B] This is exactly what I felt many times over the years. My kid was not supposed to be like this. He was supposed to be like me! I didn't even talk back to my parents (much). I liked school. I had friends. I made good grades. I never even considered not going to college. I didn't do drugs. I drank - what kid's don't in small towns? But I didn't lie (much) didn't steal and had summer jobs. I was a GOOD KID! I loved my parents to pieces and let them know it! Mine didn't have to be "conventional" or "excel". He didn't have to become a doctor or lawyer. He didn't have to be an eagle scout. He didn't have to play sports. He just had to have a job, not lie, not steal. Was that too much to ask? I found myself spending WAY too much time thinking of my son as the sweet little boy with the big brown eyes and caramel colored hair who loved me and snuggled me and wanted to play with me and give me kisses. I still struggle with that. I've had the same job since before he was born, so my office was like a timeline of his life, photos from baby thru senior year. I finally took almost every single photo I have of him under the age of 18 and hid them. (I left one about age 11 when we took a trip to Chicago to see the King Tut exhibit - because I look [I]fabulous[/I] in that picture!) But the other's - all the photo's of that sweet little boy - and all the pictures he drew and cute little cards he made me in school - gone. It helped. It helped a LOT to not have visual reminders of the "before time". Before he became the person he is now. Before the times when he made my life Hell. Before he broke my heart. Now - things are better. Now - when he's out living is own life, I'm able to look at him as he is and not think of that little boy. In fact, I've saved and cropped a couple photos of him lately, where he looks happy and healthy - if still bedraggled and sloppy - and I can look at them and smile. But I see HIM - the man he is. These days that man is doing pretty good - on his own terms. I hope some day the man you see makes you smile, but until that day, seeing the man clearly hurts less than mourning the child. [/QUOTE]
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