Robot invades the brain -vent

[jannie]

difficult child 1 has been falling apart (especially since difficult child 2 is now doing better; can't they both do well at the same time !).

Something happens...and he becomes angry...does something impulsive like hitting his brother, throwing things like his shoes etc...

He admits he's lost control....but says that he can't help himself...he can't stop it or someone else or something is controlling his brain....when he's angry a computer takes over a makes him get angrier; he's unable to control it and he just has to make bad choices. Or...it's my fault and I make him make made choices !!!

I'm glad he's realzing he's messing up, but I 'm concerned that he really feels like he doesn't have control. I decided to really listen to his words which were saying he needs help...he doesn't feel like he has the self-control he needs to deal with his frustration. This is something new..We discussed this with psychiatrist and decided to increase his trileptal from 900 mg to 1050.

What do you think of his statements?

Now, let's see last night he was upset because he was losing while playing a nintendo ds game...and guess what...he threw it....and now it's broken ( pretty tough natural consequence....I so wish it didn't break....)

This morning he was apparently yelling my name over and over again to help him with something...and as he was yelling he was shaking his arms up and down while holding the toothpaste....and guess what toothpaste splattered everywhere and I mean everwhere...There are drips and drabs way up high on the wall that I can't even reach. Yes I made him clean up most of it, however, we also needed to get to school and I didn't want him to get so worked up the school would be an issue....

And the today, he had an issue with a child at recess. When I heard there was a problem at recess (and thankfully he's only been to the office two times this year) all I thought was it better not be the one child he had a problem with two years ago...because he had one really intense issue with this family that still causes me pain...and it was this one child...difficult child was upset over a kickball issue...decided to just walk away from the situation....(which he often does when he is angry), but then decided to throw a stick..and the stick hit this boy in the face and left a small mark....and because the mark was on the face..the parents had to be called. I don't know if the stick was thrown on purpose at the student (difficult child admits throwing the stick, but said he was not trying to hit the boy) or if the child was in the line of fire...whatever...the point was he let his anger get to him AGAIN and he threw something which could be dangerous.....and

He couldn't help it....the computer takes over....he just doesn't know how to shut it down !!!!!!

And the teacher emails me today to touch base about the email I sent her about difficult child increase in medication...so she writes me to tell me that she doesn't notice a difference behavior wise (in her room he does quite well), but he just isn't himself....he's just being really careless about things and getting more "S" than "O". His handwriting has been a bit worse...so what's that--is it cognitive dulling? I don't think 150 more mg of trileptal will cause dulling, but I do know he's been more tired...and come to think of it...his IQ did drop from earlier testing...so now it makes me wonder if the medication is actaully causeing some issues. He's been on it for 2 1/2 years !!!

Since I've been so negative, I will that he has been doing really well with his basketball team...both at practice and during the games !!! Knock on wood...this is the best he's ever done on a team sport....

 

[jenn4anthony]

being a computer programmer you must get a kick out of your son saying that his computer takes over and he does not know how to shut it down!!

you are not being negative you are venting and this is good. getting your feelings and thoughts out is good. lots of luck with everything many hugs

 

[daralex]

Frustrating? - yes!! But glad to see that you're relating on a different level. Insight is knowledge. knowledge is power.

 

[Coookie]

Jannie,

Sounds like you have some concerns about difficult children medication dosage. I would talk to the doctor about this. I don't know anything about medications but that is what I would do. If it isn't that than you can check out other areas.

When I finally actually started listening to the words my difficult child was saying it was amazing... the way his brain works. :crazy1:

With my difficult child his ability to handle frustration was always at a lower level than others. It has improved with age though.

Hugs my friend, no words of wisdom ... just some thoughts.

 

[jannie]

Thanks for your support....I'm actually going to rediscuss the idea of anxiety playing a major role in difficult child's frustration level....He doesnt' want others to ever see him struggle...The p-doctor has always said he thinks we need to discuss anxiety medications....but three medications seem like way too much !!!

 

[ML]

I know what you mean about adding more medications. That anxiety is one of the toughest things to manage. Thinking of you during this time. mL

 

[Wiped Out]

Jannie,
I'm sorry he is struggling. My difficult child is the same way with the losing control issues. When I watch him he really seems to have no control and he always does the blame game for someone making him angry so he had to do it. We are always talking to him about he has to control himself and no one made him make his choices.

I'm glad basketball is going well!