M
Mamaof5
Guest
I honestly had a "eurika" moment today. An ephiany of sorts...
Hubby is a difficult child as much as the difficult children are. BIG TIME.
You see, we have this fight over monthly paperwork that has to be done once a month for dental\medical benefits through my self employment program (run by our version of welfare, not welfare just a program run by them for the fed gov and provincial gov).
Basically it provides us with benefits that self employment would not provide for us. It's more for the kids than it is for us (they are 100% covered, us not so much but some things are covered). This program also helps get a home business off the ground in the first two years of its life span. He has his income statement and I have mine. Some reason I manage to get mine out on time every time...him, he struggles to get this done every month, is so disorganized and I warned him to do this last night so all he had to do was drop it off in the morning on his way to work.
What does he do: forgets the paperwork, hasn't done his income statement and I had to find the income statement paperwork in the van for him (he spent an hour looking, I found it in 5 seconds flat). He spends an hour doing the paperwork, complaining, laying blame everywhere but at his feet. B'ing that it's so much they ask for and too much paperwork they want (they only want it once a month your king dorkiness, not a lot to ask for for paid for governement benefits you know). On top of that, tried to lay blame on me for "paperwork of the kids schools, mine and everyone elses" being in the van and making it harder on him.
Did I mention I called his work office to ask them to get him to call me so I could remind him to drop it off at the appropriate place so that the benefits would not be suspended? Because it's end of year and the office is going on holidays we'd be uncovered medically and dental wise for at least a month before it was brought back to order again and set straight.
He has the nerve to get p!ssy with me about his paperwork and how I should have it organized and ready to go for him and how they ask for too much beaurocratic red tape crud. He has no one to blame but himself for the monthly stress he puts himself under. Every month, same dang thing. Today I told him that's it, it's your obligation to your children to keep them covered medically and dental wise - I'm not holding your hand anymore and if you mess it up, there's the door buddy boy.
To add to all of that stress, my washer\dryer bit the bucket before we moved to the new place. Laundry place is 25 to 30 bucks a week and I can't afford it but can't afford for the kids to not have clean clothes. No programs for lower income families for a new washer and dryer, found a 3 yr old pair for 400 for both and don't have a penny for it.
I'm so sick of holding up the fort and keeping it glued together. When is it my turn to have someone else take over, even for just a freaking hour. Ask me if I can take a shower without one of them banging on the dang door at least a dozen times...What the heck is peace and quiet because I don't know the meaning of it. Haven't in years heard quiet ever, not once.
Plus, I haven't heard a dang thing about the job I applied for. I'm desperate for my own space and time to myself. So desperate that I'm willing to work 40 hrs a week outside the home on top of the 60 hours I put in at home for the home business. I need a happy place and it's not here right now. So utterly frustrated, rage filled and angry..resentful and sometimes even hateful. It's not a nice feeling. I'm starting to think maybe I need to be back on some sort of medications. I've spent the last 5 yrs proudly off them after 5 yrs on them...maybe I'm just the type of person who ends up on them for life or something.
You know I have day dreams about all of the kids grown and gone and living a solitary life by myself. Quiet is all I want, just solitary quietness. I need a still moment where I can just exist, just breath and do nothing but that. *sigh*
Hubby is a difficult child as much as the difficult children are. BIG TIME.
You see, we have this fight over monthly paperwork that has to be done once a month for dental\medical benefits through my self employment program (run by our version of welfare, not welfare just a program run by them for the fed gov and provincial gov).
Basically it provides us with benefits that self employment would not provide for us. It's more for the kids than it is for us (they are 100% covered, us not so much but some things are covered). This program also helps get a home business off the ground in the first two years of its life span. He has his income statement and I have mine. Some reason I manage to get mine out on time every time...him, he struggles to get this done every month, is so disorganized and I warned him to do this last night so all he had to do was drop it off in the morning on his way to work.
What does he do: forgets the paperwork, hasn't done his income statement and I had to find the income statement paperwork in the van for him (he spent an hour looking, I found it in 5 seconds flat). He spends an hour doing the paperwork, complaining, laying blame everywhere but at his feet. B'ing that it's so much they ask for and too much paperwork they want (they only want it once a month your king dorkiness, not a lot to ask for for paid for governement benefits you know). On top of that, tried to lay blame on me for "paperwork of the kids schools, mine and everyone elses" being in the van and making it harder on him.
Did I mention I called his work office to ask them to get him to call me so I could remind him to drop it off at the appropriate place so that the benefits would not be suspended? Because it's end of year and the office is going on holidays we'd be uncovered medically and dental wise for at least a month before it was brought back to order again and set straight.
He has the nerve to get p!ssy with me about his paperwork and how I should have it organized and ready to go for him and how they ask for too much beaurocratic red tape crud. He has no one to blame but himself for the monthly stress he puts himself under. Every month, same dang thing. Today I told him that's it, it's your obligation to your children to keep them covered medically and dental wise - I'm not holding your hand anymore and if you mess it up, there's the door buddy boy.
To add to all of that stress, my washer\dryer bit the bucket before we moved to the new place. Laundry place is 25 to 30 bucks a week and I can't afford it but can't afford for the kids to not have clean clothes. No programs for lower income families for a new washer and dryer, found a 3 yr old pair for 400 for both and don't have a penny for it.
I'm so sick of holding up the fort and keeping it glued together. When is it my turn to have someone else take over, even for just a freaking hour. Ask me if I can take a shower without one of them banging on the dang door at least a dozen times...What the heck is peace and quiet because I don't know the meaning of it. Haven't in years heard quiet ever, not once.
Plus, I haven't heard a dang thing about the job I applied for. I'm desperate for my own space and time to myself. So desperate that I'm willing to work 40 hrs a week outside the home on top of the 60 hours I put in at home for the home business. I need a happy place and it's not here right now. So utterly frustrated, rage filled and angry..resentful and sometimes even hateful. It's not a nice feeling. I'm starting to think maybe I need to be back on some sort of medications. I've spent the last 5 yrs proudly off them after 5 yrs on them...maybe I'm just the type of person who ends up on them for life or something.
You know I have day dreams about all of the kids grown and gone and living a solitary life by myself. Quiet is all I want, just solitary quietness. I need a still moment where I can just exist, just breath and do nothing but that. *sigh*